Every week seemed to blend into the next until a month had passed. The cake shop, the book club, the meals for the B&B. My time was spent everywhere but at my apartment as much as possible. That was when I was alone with my thoughts, and years of therapy did nothing to quell those feelings.
I’d only spoken to Nate and the twins a few times since Sasha’s death. By accident, I was able to speak with her for a few minutes a couple of days before her health took a turn for the worst. I’d been speaking with the twins—a call initiated by them. They said their dad was on his work phone in the living room.
They were busy showing me around Sasha’s condo, which was one of the nicest places I’d ever seen. A lot of marble and glass. I couldn’t help but notice it wasn’t very kid-friendly. They skipped into a bedroom and introduced me to their mom. She was propped up against her headboard, reading a fashion magazine. Even with her pale and sickly complexion, I could tell she was a stunner before her disease took over. I’d seen pictures before, but they didn’t do Sasha justice.
The twins held the phone as they started a conversation, but then they thrust the phone at their mother and scurried away to find a piece of paper. I was at a loss for what to say other than a greeting again that she parroted.
“Sorry about this,” I said with a chuckle. I knew how those girls could be when they had their mind set on something.
“It’s okay. I’m not really surprised. They’ve been wanting me to talk with you since they got here.” Her voice held the kind of scratchiness I could tell meant each spoken word was painful. My heart ached for her.
“Your girls are little spitfires,” I told her, unable to fight back the smile as I recalled all their shenanigans.
“They are. They must get that from me. Ha, listen to me being all maternal. I didn’t know I had it in me.” Sasha glanced away toward the bright light of her window that overlooked the city. A few beats passed before she turned back to me. Her eyes had lost their luster.
“Thank you. I don’t think I’ve ever said those words before, which is why my nurses hate me. But thank you, Alexandra, for loving them. For being there and taking care of them when I couldn’t and was too stubborn to be the mom they needed.” She struggled to take a breath, and I took that moment to swipe at the tears I knew were pouring down my face.
“Idolove them, Sasha. I would do anything for your girls.”And for him, I silently added.
“I know you do. And I know you’re the one who convinced Nate to bring them out to me, even before he knew about the cancer. He told me everything. I can’t ever thank you enough for that. For letting me have my girls for one more day.”
“I….” I choked on a sob and had to reach around in my kitchen for a paper towel, because something needed to sop up my tears. “You’re welcome.”
Even on the other end of the line, I could hear the twins’ not-so-subtle cries of joy as they bounded back toward the room.
“I’m glad they have you. All three of them. They deserve it. I wasn’t the mom or wife they needed.”
“Mommy Sasha, why are you crying?” Eloise asked, her voice so serious.
“Oh, these are just happy tears. Miss Alex was telling me how she’s going to name her Champagne-flavored cake after me, since it’s my favorite kind. I can’t wait to try hers.”
***
July 23rd changed the lives of my sweet Sullivan clan. I sent flowers, cards, games… anything to help them take their mind off the hell they were going through. Not even Andrew could get Nate on the phone for more than a few minutes at a time.
He was pulling away from us.
When we did talk, he was always apologetic. He finally started to look more alive than he had prior to Sasha’s death, but he was always distracted. Even during the video calls where I’d do everything he begged of me, he always seemed… preoccupied.
I considered flying out to California to see him and the girls. Maybe I could cheer them up? Maybe I could be some form of family connection they were lacking? I didn’t know, but watching them suffer was killing me.
The longer we were apart, the more I wondered if they ever planned on coming back.
I found a different antique store two hours away, and I was busy walking down the makeshift aisles when my phone buzzed with a video chat.
“Hey!” I exclaimed when I saw Nate’s name flash on the screen.
“Hi, baby.” He was sitting at a desk in what I assumed was his business office. The skyline of a city shone behind him. His eyes were rimmed in red, like he hadn’t slept in days.
They pretty much matched my own.
“I’m so glad you called. I found an online posting of a display case from a bakery that was around in the 1950s. I’m checking to see if it’s still here.”
“Really?” he asked, his gaze beaming at me.
“Yeah. I’m searching now. Tell me about your day. How are the girls? I miss them.”
“Good, we’re… managing. I’ve had some issues with Sasha’s parents, but it’s all resolved now.”
