“Everything okay?” Alex asked from the porch, her leg swaying back and forth on her bare toe.
I placed my phone in my pocket, then took a hearty sip of my bourbon before explaining that Sasha had been on the other end of the call. I didn’t miss the slight wince from Alex.
“I’m sorry. That was rude of me.”
“Naw. She’s a lot to handle, that’s for sure. If it wasn’t for the girls, I wouldn’t ever take a single call from her.”
She nodded, then pushed off the doorjamb and sauntered toward me, a bottle of red wine in her hand. A single wine glass dangling from her fingertips. With a tilt of her head, she wordlessly asked if she could join me. I shuffled to the edge of the bench and used my feet to hold it in place as she sat down.
It was too dark out, only the dim light coming through the window just beyond us illuminating the porch to see. When she finally settled against the back of the bench, her glass was filled to the brim.
“Autumn was saying that Sasha signed away her parental rights?”
“Correct.”
“That’s so sad.”
“Not really. Sasha never wanted to be a mother. The pregnancy and then the marriage weren’t what she wanted.”
“I mean, it’s sad for you and the girls. They’re so great.”
“They are. But we’re doing good, and hopefully we’ll make a new life here.”
Our eyes locked then, the pull too strong for either of us to turn away. Alex hitched one of her legs onto the bench as she turned to face me, her knee pressing up against my thigh. I was glad it was so dark out and she couldn’t see the way her touch caused my lower body part to grow.
A breeze swirled, and her scent overwhelmed me. A mix of strawberries and the chlorine from the pool. Alex took a sip from her wine, and as she pulled the glass away, I noted a small, dark dot along her lower lip.
I couldn’t control my reaction as I reached out and swiped the drop of wine away with my finger, then brought it to my mouth for a taste.
Her eyes flared at the gesture, and my name purred from her lips.
I needed to stop. I needed to quit taking a step forward and then two steps back. I was leading her on, and it wasn’t fair to either of us. But I couldn’t restrain myself when she was close by. It took only one night for my body to become addicted to her, a night I couldn’t even remember.
“I don’t like games, Nate. I feel like I’m in a constant game of ping-pong with you.”
“I know, Alex. I just can’t seem to help myself.”
“Then don’t. I want you too, Nate. I’ve never said this to anyone, but one night with you wasn’t enough. I want more.”
“I can’t do that to Andrew. He’d kill us both, and I’d lose the closest thing to family I have.”
“Hmm,” she replied, and I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but as she gulped her glass of wine, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize she was fed up. My palms started to sweat and my heart pounded. She was done with me, and the panic was overwhelming. Which was crazy in itself, because I was the one retreating at every interaction. I was the one who put up the barriers and drew the line in the sand.
Yet I was the one about to have a panic attack.
She stood, and the bench rocked with her exit. I didn’t even use my foot to stop the motion. Because every sway brought me equally closer to Alex as it did farther away.
“Alex—”
“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be at the market in the morning.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Nate.”
“Sleep well, Alexandra.”
She ducked into the house, and I finished off my bourbon, immediately knowing one glass wasn’t going to be enough. I felt twisted up inside, this never-ending magical maze of emotions that sealed up and reopened at their own will. It was the only explanation for why I was so wishy-washy with Alex. I should be strong enough to control my attraction to her. I should be able to walk around this bed-and-breakfast, not imagining she was here permanently with me and the twins. I should be able to tell my best friend I had a drunken one-night stand with his sister and desperately wanted a repeat.
