“I didn’t mean it like that. I’d never think she couldn’t take care of herself or Noah. I just wanted her to be safe,” I muttered.
“Ford, she’s got more guts than the rest of us put together.” He lowered his voice, glancing at the bartender. “You know what she’s been through, right?”
I nodded, but it was more of a lie than I wanted to admit.
Walker let the silence hang for a moment. “You ever try talking to her about any of that?”
I shook my head. “A little. Didn’t seem like my place to push.”
He leaned in, lowering his voice. “Sometimes, if you want to be part of someone’s future, you got to know a little about their past.”
I didn’t want to argue with him, but the words still itched. “I just—I like her. I like the kid. I want them to be mine and thought maybe I could help.”
Walker gave me a look that could only be described as fond exasperation. “Ford, you can’t buy your way into her heart.” He sipped his beer, then continued, “You want to make it right, yougot to let her come to you. Otherwise, she’ll run the other way. Guaranteed.”
I glanced down at the bar, tracing the rings left by a thousand old drinks. “She deserves better,” I said.
“So do you. Just don’t be a dumbass about it.” He grinned, all teeth. “And maybe next time, start with something smaller than a new car.”
I laughed, despite myself. “Noted.”
He looked up, smiling but not really. “People always know when things are off, but they almost never say a damn thing until it’s way too late.”
I watched the sweat bead down my glass. “Is this about Lily?”
“It’s about all of us,” he said. “But mostly her.”
He took a slow breath and leaned in, voice dropping to a hush. “Jim was one of those guys who wanted a picture-perfect life. I’m not saying he didn’t love Lily at one time, but he loved controlling her more. Wouldn’t let her talk to her friends. Made her quit school. Wouldn’t let her go to the store on her own. He just wanted to keep her in arm’s reach at all times.”
I felt my jaw clench. “Nobody tried to stop him?”
Walker shot me a look. “Plenty of people tried. None of us succeeded. You ever try to break up a rattlesnake and a rabbit? That’s how it was. She disappeared right in front of us.”
He paused, hands folding on the bar, gaze getting glassy. “She wasn’t always like she is now, you know. Lily used to be . . . loud. Not, like, scream at a football game loud, but she’d talk your ear off if she was excited, or crack jokes to anyone who’d listen. I remember it when she was a teen, workin’ at the five and dime. She’d get on these tears about baking or some book she was reading. Jim hated that about her. Wanted her soft, quiet, easy to manage.”
“She’s still funny,” I said. I remembered the way she’d deadpan about her disasters in the kitchen, the subtle smirk that gave away every punchline even before she delivered it. “It’s just . . . more cautious now.”
Walker’s smile returned, but this time it was pure regret. “You should’ve seen her two years ago. She was a ghost. Used to come into the diner and just stare at the menu for twenty minutes, like she didn’t remember what food was for. I think it was the only place she ever got to be alone, because Jim worked mornings at the mill and left her with the baby. She’d sit there, eat half an omelet, and leave like she’d never been.”
I wanted to ask what happened next, but I didn’t. I already knew it wasn’t good.
Walker turned his bottle in circles, the label slowly dissolving under his thumb. “I won’t sugarcoat it. Jim got mean, fast. Started drinking, yelling in public. There was a night he got thrown out of the Barrel for breaking a pool cue over some guy’s head. That’s when the cops started paying attention.”
He looked up, fixing me with a stare. “But cops in Whittier Falls don’t want to get in the middle of a domestic unless they absolutely have to. Jim knew that, and Lily knew that. So she just kept her head down and hoped things would get better.”
“Did they?”
He snorted. “Of course not. But here’s the part people don’t like to talk about: most folks in this town would rather believe in the fairy tale than admit the truth. So when Lily finally came to Caroline for help, everyone acted like it was this huge surprise, even though we all saw it coming.”
He dropped his voice to a whisper, so low I had to lean in. “That night, Jim found out where she was. Showed up at the clinic with a gun and a bottle of cheap whiskey. Caroline had locked the doors, barricaded them in the back as best she could,but he just fired through the glass. He hit Lily in the side before she even knew what was happening.”
I could feel my heart thudding, cold and steady.
Walker kept talking, but now his voice was flat, clinical. “If it weren’t for Caroline texting me . . . I don’t want to think about what would have happened. I showed up and tried to talk him down, but it was no use. Bastard shot me too. Caroline saved our lives, man. Patched us both up enough to keep us breathing until the ambulance came.”
He paused, flexing his left arm like he could still feel the pain. “They airlifted Lily to Billings. She almost died. But the worst part is, when she woke up, she didn’t ask about herself. First thing she said was, ‘Where’s Noah?’”
“Jesus,” I said.
