“She needs to be here with you! What if something happens? What if the fraud kingdom makes it?”
I could hear all the questions she wouldn’t ask. “What if she dies?”
She threw her hands up. “Exactly! What if she dies?”
“She knows the risk, Reva.” I patted the chair beside me and she threw herself into it. It tipped back onto two legs before it righted itself. “And if that’s the risk she needs to take then you need to let her go.”
“We were the three,” her voice broke as she stared at the sun setting behind the spectacular windows.
“Have you spoken to her about it?” I tucked my hands under my legs and watched my best friend. She was grieving harder than the rest of us. I knew she felt as if her purpose was shattering.
She nodded as her bottom lip trembled.
“You are more than welcome to go with her,” It was something I shouldn’t have offered, especially with Grove and Leo leaving with the archer. I didn’t have enough protection surrounding me just in case. But I also knew I needed her to be the best she could be and that wasn’t this. If that meant being the best she could be somewhere else, so be it. Leo could staybehind. I needed my friends and my guards to be at their best. Even if it meant not being by my side. I needed them whole again.
“I can’t leave you.” There was no sway in her voice. “I would never leave you. I made a vow. I swore that I would stay and protect you. Grove and Ash didn’t. Though Ash gave her life for yours anyway. What if she doesn’t come back and I’m all alone?”
This time, I reached forward and pulled her into my arms. “I don’t know what the right thing to say is but I do know that you’ll never be alone. We will have each other and Alric and whoever else decides to join our band of crazy. We will get better and whole again, but it could take a long time. I know Ash wouldn’t want you to hold Grove back and I know she wouldn’t want you in here crying over her either.”
Reva pulled back slightly and her lips twitched into something that somewhat resembled a smile. “She would want me to get wasted in the closest bar and take a hottie home with me.”
“Too bad there aren’t any bars around here,” I elbowed her in the ribs.
“I guess we need to get to building then.” Relief and something that looked a bit like purpose flashed behind her eyes. “We could build a bar in her honor.”
“I would want nothing less,” I grimaced. “You know that means we will have to have a brothel upstairs though, right?”
Reva picked at a slice of bread in front of her as one of her red brows lifted. “I don’t think that bar wench was actually a bar wench.”
I mocked surprised. “You think?”
“Definitely a whore,” Reva nodded as she sighed.
“Definitely Ash’s type with her short hair and big breasts.”
Reva’s somewhat smile turned megawatt. “She liked ass too, you can’t forget.”
“How could I?” I laughed and my chest felt lighter. Our sweet friend was gone, but she didn’t have to be forgotten.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
JUNIPER
Though we spoke about Ash often, we never brought up Ryven. I thought of him when I needed ale and a good cry but I never brought him up to Alric or the others. It was too painful. It was easier to share thoughts and memories of my guard, my friend. But Ryven? The man that’d been so hot and cold with me? The man that had my entire heart still? I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t bring myself to think about how much he meant to me. I should have told him. I shouldn’t have let him be so stubborn and hardheaded. But when I thought about it all, I realized I’d been just as bad as he was. The push and pull wasn’t one-sided and I wasted too much time.
I thought about wasted time a lot as I went through my new clothes and my new home. The castle kept its current shape and rooms. The once splendid entertaining room that held the dead, frozen priests was nowhere to be found. I asked all the questions buzzing around in my head, but no one answered me. The magical pull I had before seemed to have fizzled out. What else did the gods want from me? What else did this magic require?
We’d settled into a comfortable routine as the week passed within the castle walls. I wasn’t brave enough to explore the island that held this place just yet. The thought of dragons,the wood witch, and whatever else was lurking out there was frightening enough to keep me within the safety of the castle. I didn’t know if I would ever be comfortable again without my magic.
Alric popped his head into my bedroom and grinned at me like he did every morning. “Do you want to explore the island now?”
I’d never been around children before my life in the Ender Kingdom or after, but I imagined this was what it was like to have a child around. He constantly pestered me and asked me questions. I knew he meant well and wanted to help get me out of my shell and this horrid grief, but all it did was annoy me for now.
“I think there are a few more places in the castle I want to see. Do you think there are hidden passages?” There were a few books on the walls in my room that were about princesses, war, and plenty of hidden passageways. The hidden passages were where the princess slipped off to in order to meet her forbidden lover. Anytime I got to those parts in the book, I skipped over them quickly. I couldn’t bring myself to feel those things again, it would only hurt me to think of Ryven slipping through the corridors and all the secret moments we could have had.
Alric leaned in the doorway and watched me with a thoughtful expression. “I think it would be good for you and your magic if you had some fresh air.”
I placed the book on the light oak table and stuck my tongue out at him. “I think I’m perfectly fine within the castle.”
