Chapter 31
Jade
My stomach growled as Rafe plated up my food for me then set it on the table in the breakfast nook in the corner. I could barely see through the doorway that there was a butler’s pantry that led to a massive oak table. This place was full of incredible surprises. I relaxed slightly as he slid onto the bench beside me. He popped the top on a Sprite for himself and a water bottle for me. I lifted an eyebrow at his beverage choice for the both of us.
He chuckled. “What did I do wrong?”
I shook my head and the towel teetered slightly. I shoved it back into place. “Nothing, I was just wondering if you chose the water for a particular reason.”
He flashed a blinding smile. “You always have water when we eat at the manor.”
“Observant.” I cut into my steak and it was perfectly cooked in the middle.Bloody.
“There isn’t much that you could do that I don’t want to know about.” He chewed on his steak while he spoke. I hid my grin behind my hand.
I nodded and took my first bite. I didn’t realize he had watched me so much but I guess it wasn’t the weirdest thing that had happened. He had turned me against my will. He had probably watched me for weeks and my panties were still in his drawer upstairs. I had checked before I had exited his room, just to be sure. Granny’s words floated through my mind. Axel waited years before he claimed Vivian, before she allowed him to claim her. I carefully put my fork down and looked at my mate. I was no longer hungry for food but instead for answers.
“Axel didn’t claim Tracey’s mom for years, did you know that?”
Rafe stopped chewing and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before he turned his entire body toward me. “Yes, I have heard the story about his ironclad will a few times. Especially after I turned you. Everyone loved mentioning it then.”
It was now or never. “Why did you change me that night? Why did you force that on me without my consent and please don’t use your wolf as an excuse. You have hinted around that it was more than just that. I need to know.”
Rafe looked down at his plate and his shoulders slumped before he took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
He nodded slightly. The color had drained from his face and he wouldn’t look at me. I would be able to smell the truth in the air. He knew that. “That first time I ran into you in the grocery store you had no idea who I was. But I immediately knew who you were. My wolf approved instantly. He wanted you to know us and I came to want that too. I did everything I could to find out who you were. As I went digging for more information I found your scent everywhere. All over my town. I couldn’t go anywhere without a reminder of you. Tracey enrolled in school soon after that and I made sure she was in every one of your classes. She followed you for me. She found out all the information she could.”
Even though I had known all of this, it still made me feel weird hearing it from him. He shrugged and continued the story even though he wouldn’t look at me.
“I would have done it myself if I thought it was a good idea to go to school with you…” He shook his head and this time when he looked at me, all that was evident on his face was regret. I reached out and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He leaned into my touch. “My wolf was too close to the surface. I would have torn through anyone that looked at you the wrong way. It was easier when you went to parties. It was something I could accept and be there to watch out for you. Until that one guy had the most indecent plans for you. I couldn’t control myself. I ripped him apart and I didn’t feel an ounce of regret.” His eyes burned with conviction. “Then you were gone again. When I saw you at the party the next time I had promised Tracey I wouldn’t do anything rash. She was tired of cleaning up my messes. She didn’t want to be involved in murder, even though it was a just act.”
“Except everything was different?” That night was clearer now than it had ever been. He had pressed his nose into my neck.
He looked back down at his plate and his hair fell around his eyes. I hated not seeing them while he spoke. “I smelled the sickness in the air the moment you walked through the doors.”
My body jerked up. “Yes, I think you’ve mentioned that before.”
“I was in denial. That was when I decided that I had to approach you, I had to make sure that you weren’t really sick. That it was a fluke and someone else was sick. I refused to accept it.” His shoulders shook but he still wouldn’t look at me. “I didn’t want this for you or for me. I didn’t want to change you, especially against your will.” When he looked up tears were sliding down his face. I clenched my fists at my side. He had acted indifferent to it all. It made no sense. “My wolf took over and pushed my humanity away. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I would have rathered you live and hate me than die.”
I was stunned into silence by his emotions and his confession. The truth was strong in the air around us. I nodded my head for him to continue. What else could I do? What could I say?
“When I pressed my nose against your skin, I knew I was out of time. If I didn’t change you that night, the cancer would take over every single cell in your body. It would consume you and I wouldn’t be able to save you. I was literally working against the clock to try to find a way to keep you around for your family’s sake.”
Cancer. I blinked.
“You couldn’t have changed me after the cancer had taken over?”
Rafe shook his head. He placed his trembling hands over mine and more tears fell from his brown eyes. “There is only so much we can do with our venom. We can change others but only if the cancer is small, so small that it hasn’t started to affect the organs yet. Yours was barely there but rapidly growing. I could sense it when I touched you. If the cancer takes over the organs or even partially, and you were to change… A wolf wouldn’t choose you. You would be considered too weak to be a vessel.”
I didn’t know what to say. Cancer. The big C word. I could have died. I would have died if he hadn’t turned me. So what did this mean? What did this mean for my hatred toward him?
“You couldn’t tell me about it and risk me giving you permission to do it?” I knew my questions were ridiculous but I had to ask them all the same.
Rafe looked down at our hands. “Humans don’t take our existence very well. You would have wanted to go to the doctor or called me crazy. I had to do what I did to save you, even if you weren’t ready.”
“You could have changed me with your bite?”
