Chapter 59
Jade
My body shook from fatigue as Nalia disappeared into the back of my mind again. I leaned against the door of my cottage and thankfully, it was unlocked. The door opened easily as I walked to the bathroom in-between both bedrooms. My naked body was covered in mud and leaves. I had had better days. Or better nights, judging by the sun rising now. Lucas snored from the guest bedroom and I was happy to have him here, even if he was the one that opened the can of worms. He had left the door open which gave me a comforting feeling I wasn’t prepared for.
The shower was hot enough to distract me for a moment. But then it went cold and I was left with a numbness deep inside of my chest. What did I do now? I couldn’t possibly go back to Rafe’s house. We were mates. I had only touched the surface of what that meant. That was why Damian had wanted me. That was why he had marked me. He had known all along.
I pressed the white towel into my face and let out a silent sob. My shoulders shook with the force of it. My hands trembled as I wrapped a pink robe around my shoulders. I flipped my hair over to wrap the towel around my head. When I stood back up and opened the door Lucas was on the other side. He leaned against the wall and when he saw my face, his shoulders slumped.
“I didn’t know what else to do. He had to be the one to say it.” I opened my arms and he stepped into my hug immediately. He ran his hand down my back in a soothing manner. “I’m so sorry.”
“There isn’t anything to be sorry about, these are the things that I should have been preparing myself for. Damian kept bringing up me having a mate and I just didn’t believe it or maybe, I didn’t want to accept it. I don’t know, either way, it is what it is.”
Lucas pushed me out to arm’s length. “You are the strongest person I know. If anyone can get through this, it’s you. It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it. Okay?”
I managed to crack a smile. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”
Lucas smiled back. “Because it’s the truth?”
“How does it feel to be accepted back into the fold?” Maybe I could take the focus off of myself for a bit. I was tired of thinking so hard. I needed a break.
Lucas’s responding grin was radiant. It lit up his entire face. “The best feeling in the entire world.”
Even though Tracey had invested in the best black-out curtains, I still couldn’t sleep. The sun was high in the sky and it was like my body knew it. No matter what I did, sleep didn’t take me. I rolled over and kicked the covers a few times before I slammed the bedroom door open then marched to the kitchen.
Lucas was sitting at the bar nursing a cup of coffee and Mav was sitting on the broken couch. He immediately hopped up to wrap me in a giant hug. My body relaxed and I smiled up at him.
“I missed you, friend.”
“I missed you too, Mav.” I patted his huge shoulder and he released me. I wrinkled my nose at the coffee but dug around in the fridge for a yogurt. Judging by the grocery bags on the counter, Mav had gone grocery shopping for us. The fridge was pretty bare but it was the thought that counted. The yogurt tasted like nothing as I swallowed it down quickly. I couldn’t focus on even tasting the food, my mind was too turbulent. How the heck was I going to go around the pack with all of this out in the open? How had I been so stupid?
Maybe I needed to go back home. I was stewing over that thought when Mav sat on the counter. His huge frame looked squashed up there. “What are you thinking so hard on?”
“I’m thinking I might need to go home.” I nodded my head to myself. It made sense. “I can control my shifts now. I don’t need to be here to protect my family.”
Mav’s face fell. “You don’t want to be a part of this pack?”
“This pack is now my family, but I’m worried about how I am supposed to process everything that keeps happeningtome. My control has been taken over and over again. I feel like I’m going insane. A change of pace might be nice.”
“And if you have to move back to the pack, it’ll be that much harder to do so.” Mav shrugged and I winced. His shoulders looked like they were ready to go a round with my cabinets.
I held my hands out with my palms up. “You should probably get down before you destroy the cabinets Tracey worked so hard on.”
Lucas picked his head up from the book in his hands. “Speaking of, where is my sister?”
Mav hopped off of the counter and winced. “She’s keeping Rafe busy so he doesn’t come barreling in here to claim you.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Great, just great.”
Lucas chuckled as he took a sip out of his mug. “Now that you know it’s going to be harder for his wolf to not do something irrational.”
“Do any of you know why he changed me against my will? You all know I’m his mate but couldn’t I have been his mate while I was human?” I shook my head. None of this made sense. Just when I thought I was finally understanding the wolf dynamic/world, I was thrown for another loop.
Mav held his hands up in surrender. “I think the only one that knows is Tracey but good luck getting that out of her.”
