Chapter 18
Rafe
Something wasn’t right. I couldn’t smell Jade’s wolf. I couldn’t scent her anywhere on this property. The full moon hadn’t been that long ago, I should have been able to scent her in the woods. But still nothing. I paced across the small cottage we had been allowed to stay in. Mav and Archer were squished onto the couch pressed against the wall. Tracey had disappeared in the kitchen and Knox, well there was honestly no telling where he had run off to. He was the one I worried about the most, but not because he was rowdy. No, I worried about him because he didn’t know fear. He would run through this pack guns blazing if I allowed it. He would go through every single home looking for Jade if I said the word, consequences be damned. He was impulsive and reckless. He was my brother.
I squeezed my eyes closed as I listened to the other Guardians settle in around the house. They were sniffing for magic or anything else that would get us in trouble here. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“She isn’t herself,” Mav’s voice sounded pained. He loved Jade. He had cared for her the moment he had heard what I had done. Though I had offered them no explanation for my actions- I didn’t have to- they treated me differently. None of them would understand, but that didn’t matter. My redemption would come later, at the hands of Jade. I hoped.
“She’s not eating,” The words were difficult to get past my lips. Her clothes had hung off of her, instead of clinging to her. She had lost too much weight, her wolf had to be suffering. But I hadn’t been able to scent that in the air around her either. Had they killed her wolf? It would explain how she was acting and the way she had lost muscle.
“They could be listening to us,” Tracey whispered from the doorway to the kitchen. She held a bagel between her fingers but I doubted she was actually going to eat it. Tracey had lost weight too. She had hardly been eating. She had hardly seen the sun and her cheeks looked just as gaunt as Jade’s had.
I straightened up and blinked slowly. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. My desperation, my sadness, all of it… it was affecting the pack. I was killing my pack.
I gritted my teeth together. I had to give them hope. Hope that their future mates wouldn’t be taken from them. Hope that their families would be safe. Hope that I would get Jade back and the pack dynamic would go back to normal.
“I don’t care if they listen,” I crossed my arms over my chest as a small smile stretched across my face. By the look on Tracey’s face, it was my crazy smile. I didn’t care. “In fact, I want them to know. I want everyone to know. I am willing to burn it all down for my mate.”
Mav leaned forward and coughed. Knox clapped from the open doorway with a grin on his face. I knew he had been waiting for me to tell everyone else. Tracey had been the only one that knew. Her face paled further. Archer looked like he was ready to throw himself at me in a bear hug.
“I didn’t want anyone to know why I fought so hard for her. I didn’t want to share my failures as an Alpha or as your friend. As your brother. I wanted you to have someone to look up to. I wanted my little brother to have someone to look up to but I threw that all away when I forced the change on her. I will not explain why I did what I did to any of you. Jade is the only person that I owe an explanation to, as my mate.” I swallowed as all their eyes turned yellow. This was going to be a different fight now. This was personal. Jade was a part of our pack, whether she pledged to it or not. “I will burn down the entire world for my mate. Don’t get it twisted. I would never hurt her intentionally. I would have never forced a change on her but time was running out.”
Once again, Tracey was the only one that knew why I had done what I had. But it had taken me too long after the fact to explain it to her. Our friendship had suffered for it. I could see it in her eyes. The doubt that had festered there in the weeks she thought I was a terrible person. In the weeks she assumed I was insane and my wolf was making me sick. But as their Alpha, I owed them nothing. I owed them the protection of the pack and my strength, but I didn’t owe them explanations for my actions.
Knox whistled and I sighed. “I was waiting for this! I mean, we all assumed but you kept denying that you cared for her.Finally.”
I looked at each of the Guardians and they smiled slowly in turn. They had all known but had waited for me to tell them. Tracey still looked empty. I could smell Knox’s confusion behind me.
“Tracey already knew,” I admitted.
Knox lifted his lip in disgust. “You told her beforeme?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose again. Knox was going to give me a headache. “You were in training. Remember, zero communication with your past life?”
Knox pressed his lips together before he shot me a guilty grin. “Ahhh, right.”
Tracey pushed past the threshold of the kitchen and sat on the edge of the couch that was occupied by two men that were entirely too big for it. “Plus, I can keep a secret. Unlike you idiots.”
Mav frowned. “I would like to think that I am not included in that general term. You know how I hate generalization.”
Tracey rolled her eyes but there was a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. She had a soft spot for the giant Samoan just like Jade did. He was like a big teddy bear, that could actually rip your face off if you wronged him.
Tracey leaned forward and watched me with determination. “You have our attention, Alpha. What’s the plan?”
