Chapter 14
Tracey
The cottage was finished. I turned the key in the lock and walked down the newly dried concrete path that led to the Manor. The master bathroom would be constructed as soon as it was approved by Rafe, but unfortunately for me, it was the last thing on his list as Alpha.
I knew Knox was on the prowl before he was next to me. His confused scent coated everything. His pace matched my own as he joined me on the walkway. He didn’t say anything and the longer we stayed in silence, the more confused his scent became.
“What do you want, Knox?” My tone was soft but I was feeling anything but that. He was the absolute last person I wanted to deal with.
“How are you feeling?”
I stopped in my tracks and gave him a confused look. “Excuse me?”
He took a step away from me, which was probably a good thing. “Am I not allowed to care?”
I snorted. “Since when have you ever?”
“Since, always?”
I shook my head at him and kept walking. I could see Rafe’s mom, Alice, watching us through the window and the last thing I wanted was an audience when dealing with this imbecile.
“Knox, I really don’t have the emotional headspace for whatever you have to tell me or brag about. Can we do this emotional sparring on another day when I don’t feel like the world is collapsing beneath me?”
He had stopped walking but I didn’t care. “When are you going to talk to someone about the blame you are putting on yourself?”
I swallowed thickly as I opened the back door to the Manor. I wasn’t that transparent. But he also didn’t deserve my response.
“He’s right, you know,” Alice said from the hallway.
“I don’t feel any blame,” My words were too flat for my own liking.
“We can smell the remorse you’re feeling.”
I sighed before I closed my eyes briefly. “What do you want from me, Alice?”
“I want to help you feel better,” She leaned against the wall and I finally caught sight of her outfit from the shadows. She was wearing long overalls with an olive long sleeve shirt under them. Her dark hair was braided away from her face. She looked ten years younger. “Rafe won’t be approving the renovation on the cottage until you can participate in pack functions again.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “What kind of activities?”
“How is your wolf feeling?” Her questions were starting to irritate me.
She was feeling the same since the night everything had happened. She was feeling just as responsible as I was, but I couldn’t admit it because once I did, the emotions would only get stronger. They would only get worse. I chose not to answer her question till she answered mine.
After a few seconds, she gave in. “You didn’t run on the full moon.”
I blinked as the realization hit me. She was right. My wolf hadn’t fought to come to the surface. She hadn’t tried at all. In fact, I could hardly feel her now.
“Sometimes our grief and guilt will kill our wolves.” Alice’s words were a whisper but they echoed in my mind as if she had screamed them. Was I killing my wolf? “There is nothing that any of us can say to make this any better, but maybe, you need to talk to Rafe about this. If anyone is feeling terrible or if anyone should be, it’s him.”
I did the only thing I knew how to do, I ran. Away from her words and away from the pain flooding me. The only person that deserved to feel any sort of way was Rafe.
