Which, honestly, when admitting that to myself, it seemed really pathetic. My parents were both only children and their parents had died while I was still in diapers. It made sense that I stayed alone, but now? Now not so much.
Tracey spun around in my office chair and eyed me curiously. “What really made you want me to come over? It couldn’t have been your own free will to decide your immediate forgiveness.”
I leaned against my headboard and pulled at a string on my comforter. “You’re right, I lied to my parents and I needed proof to back up my words. I don’t want them to worry about me. The last thing I need is for them to ask questions about my weekend from hell.”
Tracey toyed with her messy curls and wouldn’t meet my eyes. “There are so many things I wish I could tell you about that night, but just know this, I wasn’t involved in Rafe drugging you or even injecting you with more sedative.”
“That was sedative?” I guess that made sense. If he wanted to do anything else he would have needed me to stay asleep. Did that mean nothing from the syringe had made it into my system? “What were you a part of then?”
She leaned back and the chair tilted with her body weight. Her bright teeth snagged her bottom lip and for a second it looked like they were longer and pointier than usual. “I was involved in trying to hook you two up. But I knew you weren’t looking for anything long term and figured the timing was off. Rafe has unconventional methods.”
“Why did he drug me?”
Tracey shrugged. “I honestly couldn’t tell ya. I haven’t really spoken to him much about it.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve spoken to him since this all happened?”
Tracey rolled her head on her shoulders. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes again. “We probably shouldn’t talk about this. If you’d like, I can leave. I only want to make sure you’re okay.”
I shook my head and tears welled up in my eyes. “I am not okay. I have been feeling weird since the entire thing and I came to the realization today that I am always alone. Ihatebeing alone. I never realized it before because I blanketed the feeling under partying and adrenaline. But now I’m forced to look at my feelings and right now I’m feeling pretty lousy. You can go if you want but you’re probably the only one I have ever cared about besides my parents.” I closed my eyes and sighed before I opened them up again and admitted defeat. “I don’t want to be alone. I’m scared.”
Tracey unfolded herself from the desk chair and sat next to me on the bed. “I don’t really care for Rafe all that much but we grew up together. Side by side. Everyone thought we were going to end up mat-married. When his dad died he went through a lot and my parents have been there for him ever since.” She pulled my hand into hers. “I don’t want you to think I’m sticking up for him or hanging out with him because of what he did. I want you to understand that I can’t exactly shake Rafe Crimson. He lives next door to me.”
“Crimson?” I frowned. “Isn’t that the oldest family in the town? Like everything around here is named after them?”
The mascot of the university was the Crimson Coyotes. The library had the Crimson Crest stamped into the front double doors. It had a wolf’s face stamped on the front of a shield with two spears crossed behind it. Everyone knew who the Crimson’s were.
Tracey leaned back and nodded. Her wild curls bunched up against the headboard and her nose wrinkled. “Yeah, that’s the one. Rafe, his little brother, and his mom are the only Crimsons left.”
“Don’t try to make me feel bad for him. Just because he lost someone doesn’t mean he’s a decent human.”
Tracey snorted. “Oh, he’s definitely not a decenthuman, but he has his quirks. Maybe someday he will show you that he’s not as bad as he looks or sometimes acts.”
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was about to tell her this. “He stole my panties.”
Tracey laughed. “No, he didn’t. I saw him hand you that cup then followed him upstairs when he had you in his arms. I made sure he didn’t touch you indecently. Though, I know he would never do that.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “No, like he stole my extra pair I kept in my purse.”
Tracey’s burst of laughter almost had me jumping out of my skin. Heat filled my face. “Are you serious? When I told him to return your things, I didn’t think he would go through them.”
“This isn’t funny,” I grumbled.
“I can’t wait to tear him apart for that one.” Laughter continued to spill from her lips. For the first time since that night, I felt normal again, even if I didn’t feel whole yet.
Chapter 14
Jade Rivers
As the sun had gone down I watched as Tracey went from energetic to nervous. We had spent the entire day together and nothing got old. I could listen to her tell stories for hours. Stories about her growing up in the woods or how her parents raised her with all their friends. They had the tightest community and she loved every second of it. There were even a few endearing stories about Rafe thrown in. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to enact my revenge. He had it coming for him and I couldn’t wait to deliver justice.
As her nerves continued to go up, her eyes started to glow. I wanted to think it was only my imagination but when she asked to stay the night, I was worried about her. Her eyes were almost yellow and her voice had gotten a little deeper. I had asked her several times if she was okay and she had reassured me that she was. I didn’t believe her. But I was thankful she stayed, I didn’t feel like going through another night alone. Crying myself to sleep wasn’t something I enjoyed doing. Having her around kept me from the pits of my own despair.
When the pain shot through my body, I was especially grateful to have her beside me. I shot up in the bed and pain spiraled down my spine.
Tracey flicked the light on, but it didn’t matter. I could see in the dark now. Which was the least surprising thing that had happened lately.
Pain shot down my fingers before my teeth felt like they were going to fall out. Every single nerve ending in my body felt like it was on fire. All I could do was writhe in the bed. I whimpered as Tracey pushed my hair from my face.
