"How are you holding up?" I hated small talk. I didn't want anything to do with it.
She lifted a shoulder and pressed her lips together. By the glassy look in her eye, she was holding back tears. "I can't go in there. I can't see him so lifeless."
"They're allowing visitors?" I immediately stood up as she nodded.
"Only one at a time."
Maze was right. Seeing Kia lifeless hooked up to so many tubes and wires was difficult. I pulled his hand into mine and rested my forehead against the bed. Where did I start? I knew his spirit would recognize mine. So I started talking. I told him about being homeless, being afraid, and alone. I told him about every single traumatic experience I went through. I poured my heart out until my throat was raw and I didn't think there was anything left in my soul.
Chapter Forty-Five
Derek
Nurses loved military men.Not all of them but a lot of them. It was like they could sniff us out. When they found out I was trying to get in to see a patient, they waved the only one visitor rule for me. I could see Halona's fist working. She was ready to tear down the hospital. I made them promise that Maze and Halona could go in next. Halona settled down after that and I followed one of the flirty nurses down the hall. I could now see where Aiyanna got her fire from.
I heard her before I saw her. I stopped in the doorway and couldn't move. Her entire story was spilling from her lips again. Had Kia woken up? Aiyanna hiccuped and continued. "I can't grow old without my brother. I need you to wake up. I need you to go home to your daughters and continue to give me a hard time. I need you to just be here. Don't leave me like I left all of you."
After a few minutes of her silence, I figured it was a good time to go in. She was kneeling on the floor with her head bowed. I didn't take her as the religious type but sometimes trauma brought out beliefs we didn't know we had. I could respect that. I knelt down on the floor beside her and bowed my head too. I didn't know if she was praying or just being respectful, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was going to be there for her, no matter what happened. No matter what went wrong or right. I made up my mind that I could no longer run from my feelings. The sad ones or the happy ones.
I pulled her into my arms and ran my fingers down her hair. It was so odd that she no longer wore wigs. It was a relief but also strange. Her silky strands fell through my fingers and I watched as her shoulders stopped shaking. She wiped her face with the palm of her hand and her face flushed as she looked up at me.
"How much did you hear?" Her voice was small. I could hardly make out what she asked.
"All of it, I think."
"I didn't mean for anyone but Kia to hear it."
I shrugged. "If it was up to me, I would have gone after every single person that laid a hand on you. I would hunt them down if you told me the details."
She shook her head. "I would have okayed that last year. I would have paid you. But now?" She looked up at her brother. "Now I don't hurt as bad as I once did. I don't cry as often even though it seems like I cry all the time. I don't cry myself to sleep anymore. I don't have nightmares."
"When did it all stop?"
Her face went thoughtful. "A year ago when you got drunk in my bar and I had to watch you all night to make sure you didn't die."
"It would take a lot more than alcohol to kill me, I hate to break it to you." I helped her off of the floor.
She raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"
"Yeah, I already tried that once."
Chapter Forty-Six
Aiyanna
Derek agreedthat coming into my room at night was a bad idea after my dad had caught us kissing in the bathroom one morning. He had been livid but entertaining. He made a swing for Derek, but Derek was too fast for it. I rolled my eyes. Leave it my dad to make things awkward.
It was a long two days before we got the call about Kia waking up. We had planned to speed right there, but Kia had told Maze that he wasn't ready to see me yet. Which broke my heart but I knew it was because of the story I had shared with him. Maybe it was the fact that he remembered what I said somehow or maybe he saw it as a dream, I didn't know, but I knew if he didn't want to see me, that was why.
Him not wanting to see me put me in a deep hole of depression. I didn't know how to function. Then one morning Derek turned the light on, pulled the covers off of my face, and yanked me out of the bed by my ankles. I landed on my face with a thud and groaned. He didn't stop there. He wrapped his fingers around my calves and pulled me out of the bedroom.
"If I'm going to spend my only vacation time off with you, I'm not going to let this become a norm." He wasn't even winded by hauling my ass down the hall. I was somewhat offended and based on the butterflies in my stomach, turned on. I wrapped my arms around my head as we neared the stairs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and threw me over his shoulder. We went down the stairs quickly and the butterflies were worse now. I didn't even know how it was possible.
Dad and Momma were sitting in front of the TV. It was off but they were both occupied with other things. It looked like Momma had taken up crocheting and Dad was drinking coffee while reading on his tablet. It was so strange to see them now, retired and enjoying life together. It was a strange feeling to know that I almost turned down the opportunity to experience this.
"Dad!" I called as we passed them and Derek headed straight for the front door. "Help me!"
Dad took a long sip out of his coffee mug as Derek paused in the foyer. "I'm glad he's doing this, you need to get out of the house. You're making us all depressed. Don't you want to spend time with Derek before he leaves for deployment in a few weeks."
