“You can’t forget that you’re different too. You have overcome a lot. It wasn’t easy for you to hop on a plane and go back to the place that almost killed you.” She was brave. One of the bravest women I had ever had the pleasure of knowing. In the beginning, I had thought she was weak but I had been wrong. She had looked adversity in the face and smiled. She had thrived through her trauma while I had buried myself in it. I didn’t deserve a woman like her.
“Look at you talking about yourself. You do that every time you deploy, don’t forget that.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Aiyanna
Islah wasgorgeous but she was kind. She was always the woman I had imagined my brother falling in love with. She cooked a mean stew and baked incredible pastries. She had baked the pastries that sat in the middle of the counter. I took a second helping of dinner from her hands. When Islah had heard what happened she had rushed home to cook for us. I wasn’t ready to meet her and then Derek called so I locked myself up until I was ready to face the music.
Kota finished off his food and then dunked his roll in the pot for one last taste. A content smile stayed on his face as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend.
“I didn’t tell you about her because there is enough new stuff happening in your life. I wanted you to get to know me as your brother again.” Kota explained. “I was going to introduce you to her when you felt ready.”
I nodded my head and didn’t say anything. Islah wrapped her finger around a long dark strand of hair. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you with my presence here. I know how traumatic all of this can and is for you. I don’t want you to think we had malicious intent.”
I loved her for it. I had expected myself to be angry and not be able to forgive Kota for lying but now I understood. He was trying to ease me into this life, rather than throw me in headfirst without knowing how to swim.
In just a few short hours I realized something, something I had never thought of before. I wanted a love like Kota and Islah’s. It was a hunger I never knew I had. An itch I couldn’t reach. Now that I knew it existed, it was all I wanted.
“How did you two meet?” I leaned back in my chair and watched them. They were cute together.
Islah looked at Kota for approval. They both wore pain and joy that the memory of that day. “I met Kota in the hospital, ten years ago.”
I frowned. “Why were you in the hospital?”
Islah looked at my brother and frowned. “I don’t know if we should talk about this.”
Pain like no other slashed through me. My brother didn’t want to hurt me by telling me why he had been in the hospital all those years ago. I could see it written all over his face. My phone buzzed again and distracted me from asking questions. Kota took the opportunity to change the subject.
“Who is that texting you? I thought there was no one special.” Kota’s big eyebrows lifted on his forehead.
“I’m not allowed to have secrets either?” I teased as I unlocked my phone.
Derek-I hope this trip passes by quickly.
Me-Lol. Why?
Derek-Because I’ve never looked forward to someone so much before.
My cheeks flushed. I couldn’t be reading that correctly. Did Derek Mule just tell me he was missing me? There was no way. I chose to not reply and locked my phone.
Kota was watching me suspiciously. “Do I need to rough someone up?”
I laughed then. It came out loud and harsh. My brothers were big and they worked out but they had nothing on the SEAL waiting back at home for me. He would take them out before they even knew what was happening. Something about that thought caused butterflies to ignite in my stomach.
“What is so funny?” Kota didn’t look amused at my laughter. His pride looked hurt as he scowled. Islah giggled and wrapped her arms around his chest.
“I hate to break it to you,bro.” I tried to keep the laugh out of my voice, I really did. “But Derek could take you with his hands tied behind his back.”
Kota’s eyebrows pulled together. “Is that a challenge? Tell him I accept.”
All the laughter I had been holding in, spilled out. I wrapped my arms around my middle and my body shook with the force of it. Islah joined in with me all while my brother brooded. As I came down from the high of joy, I realized I hadn’t laughed like that in years. It caused something to break open inside of me. What was a fit of giggles turned into a full-on sob. Kota looked at me like I was crazy and Islah’s eyes held understanding. I was mortified about how my emotions had turned, but I also didn’t care. There was a gaping hole in my chest and now I felt it even more than usual. All these years apart had done damage. More than I had been willing to face before.
Chapter Thirty
Derek
I checked my phone again.I couldn’t help it. I had told her I missed her and my text had gone unanswered. I had never had this issue before. I never missed people and I certainly wouldn’t have told them if I did, but here we were. The silence in the apartment was slowly eating me alive. It had been lively once. With Brody around. He had kept me sane. He had helped the demons stay away and I had never told him. I had never told him that he was my brother, too. Before the emotions could choke me out, I ripped my door open and stomped up to the second floor. I banged on Jace’s door until I remembered they did have a baby, that was probably napping. I wasn’t even worried about Jace if I woke the baby. Nooo, I was scared of Elise. She would skin me. In fact, she had threatened it before. Jace had laughed and muttered something about her pawpaw threatening them that way when they were children. It had to be a Louisiana thing.
