“Outside of here,” she explains, her voice taking on a lilt, almost as if she were about to begin a song, “Life is bad. Inside, life is good. You were protected from the harsh environments and monsters like your scelp. You are truly blessed to have been selected!”
What a simplistic world view.
“I hope I never have to leave our fortress,” she says absently.
“Were you raised here?” I ask. Because that is the only explanation as to why she’d think the only good in the world can be found here. Yes, the world is struggling, but even with that, there is hope, and most importantly, there is freedom.
“Yes. My mother was like you, a traveler. She was claimed by my father, a Nihilian Drak—a powerful leader,” she explains. “Their love is a grand tale. Maybe she will tell you some time.”
I swallow. Love?
“Did your mother have a family before… coming here?”
“Yes, she had a mother and father and brother. That is the sad part of the tale. They were lost to her.” She sighs, eyes faraway for only a moment before she gives me that same sweet smile. “That is the part of the story you are in now. But there is much more to come, Drahkita, and it is all good. Just you wait. You’ll see what blessing you have been given to live in this place with us. It is a rare gift but very special.”
My throat is suddenly dry. Part of me does want to believe her—that I could live here with a community of people who aresafe and well fed and have ridiculously warm water to bathe in daily.
I rub my hands together, absently staring at the water covering my body. I could never forget the ritual I witnessed above or the battling inhuman men.
There is still much to fear.
I try not to argue with the girl. I don’t know her background, and I don’t see a point in trying to convince her that this is not the haven she seems to think. Has she not seen the sacrifices? The draken? Where are the dozens of others from the clearing last night?
Was their fate as pleasant as mine so far?
No matter how wonderful this place turns out to be—and I still have a wagon-sized pile of doubts—I am not free. Astella is out there. Astella, who would be considered a heretic here simply for the magic in her blood.
The young woman with bleeding arms, crying out as they split her throat, flashes through my mind, and I shake it away. They said she was blessed too.
The image is uncomfortable, but I realize I must never forget her.
Helena grips my upper arm, pulling me from my thoughts. “You are safe here. It will take time for you realize it.”
I force a smile because it would do no good to show her the depth of my doubt.
“You said we before,” she says. “Did you have family? I do not like it when they separate families, even though it cannot always be helped.”
“No family,” I answer. “They died years ago. I only had a friend.”
“This friend came here with you?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “She—she was lost to me,” I repeat her own words back, hoping she’ll not press the issue more. Ido not want anyone here to know about Astella. Maybe it’s an irrational fear to think they’ll go hunting for the girl I care so deeply for, but my mind cannot let go of the worry.
“I see,” she says quietly, staring down at the rippling water between us.
She lets that stillness settle for several moments before she blinks and forces a smile. “Let’s work on clearing that muck from your lovely body, shall we? I bet there is a great beauty beneath it.”
Helena spends several minutes washing my skin with a blue bar of soap that smells of flowers and a cloth like a net that burns as she scrubs with surprising force. The water around us darkens with little clouds of dirt.
My heart aches, watching it float off and dissipate into the blue pool. I don’t know why I feel a connection to the muck that marred my skin. I shouldn’t. It’s good to be clean.
But I can’t help but feel like Astella is in that dirt. My home is there, being washed away, leaving me like them.
I am a stranger here. I don’t belong.
Soon though, Helena’s scrubbing softens. She instructs me to dip my whole body to rinse. I am in a whole new world of water, sounds muffled, my body wrapped in immense warmth.
When I return, Helena resumes cleaning my body, but this time with soft, soothing motions.
