I push the wild hair from my face and sit up. I drag my finger along his chest where the blade pierced him. He could be dead right now. I could be running.
And I would have never experienced what we just did.
“What do you want?” I ask him, realizing he did not get any pleasure himself. I reach for him, but he grips my hands and holds them tightly.
“This was more than enough for now.”
I frown. “You don’t want more?”
“Of course I do.” He presses a soft kiss to my head. “But we have all the time in the world.”
My stomach sinks at that. Do we?
He tugs me down so that my head is on his chest. It’s warm, and comfortable here with him. I could get use to this. Moments pass before I gather the courage to ask the question still bounding through my skull.
“Is there really no way out of here?” I mutter.
He doesn’t immediately respond. His chest simply moves up and down with calm breath. I almost consider he may be sleeping but I ask again.
“Do you swear there isn’t… a key or something?”
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I swear I will never escape this place.”
That’s such a sad thought. I don’t want to stay here. I can’t stay here.
“Stay with me,” he murmurs, pulling me against his chest.
He is asking me to choose between him and Astella. He could pleasure me nightly and be the best protector the world has ever seen, but he will never be worthy of that sacrifice.
“Okay,” I whisper. My stomach sinks.
He lies back in the furs and pulls me down so that my head is rested on his chest.
Though my body is heavy and warm, my mind still spins. It doesn’t take long for his chest to rise and fall in a smooth rhythm.
A small snore escapes his lips.
I touch his cheek again and find it still cool to the touch. I sit up, heart racing, and lightly tug at the lapel of his uniform to the place on his chest I’d seen the black spot.
My heart sinks. I don’t even know what it means. What is the blackness under his skin?
“Haze?” I whisper.
He doesn’t move. His chest still rises and falls.
With or without him, I need to find out if Astella is here.
My heart picks up speed as a new plan crosses my mind. Is it true? Is there really no way he can help me out of here? Maybe the voices and the girl were all wrong. Maybe it’s hopeless.
Or maybe, I need to do it on my own.
I need to know, one way or another. I carefully pat his hips, slowly, so if he wakes, he won’t immediately know what I’m trying to do. If only I’d gotten him out his clothes too.
My fingers land on something hard under his tunic. He still doesn’t stir, so I carefully feel out the object. I sigh when I clearly feel the handle of a blade.
Maybe the key isn’t on his person. He has a lot of things piled in the corners. Treasures that belonged to people he has killed.
I bite my lip.
