I would die for Lina, so I cannot be angry to realize she would do the same for her witch friend.
“Why do you protect me?” she asks. I wonder why it matters so much, but in this moment I realize it is a test. My actions and my words have not matched. I tell her I don’t care, and show her how much I do.
She needs to know how much in order to feel secure with me, but I’m uncertain I’m able to show that yet.
“You are mine now,” I tell her. “Mine to protect. I take my duty seriously.” Duty. What complete bullshit. I have nevercared for duty. My very life is a rebellion, and I treasure it, as I treasure hers.
“By protect, do you mean control?”
Her words hit me like a blow and I realize how fair of a statement that truly is. If I love her for her wings, why would I clip them?
I stand and begin to pace. If her reason for continuing to hope is a girl now trapped in the dungeon, she will stop at nothing to reach her, death be damned. It means we are doomed.
The only way to survive this?—
“Tell me exactly what the priestess said.” I am careful with my words, as I’m sure the seer was.
Lina’s brow furrows as she considers. She wrings her fingers together. “She said my friend was in the dungeon. She said she would die.”
“She said ‘your friend’?”
She nods. Then she looks up at me, so sad and lost.
Am I delusional to think I can still control this? I can somehow reverse this course and keep her with me? “Did she say a name?” I begin to pace. “Anything specific?”
“No…” she frowns. “She… said I care for her. She said she stole something from them.”
I stop and face her, waiting for her to come to the correct conclusion on her own. I am impatient though, and I cannot help but lead her even closer. “Are you sure,” I say slowly, “that she didn’t mean the girl you stole the roll for?”
Lina blinks up at me, a flicker of a new hope in her eyes.
“But it might have been Astella.”
I pull in a long breath. I cannot take that thought from her mind but maybe…
“Do you trust me?” I ask, and am immediately terrified of the answer.
Her eyes are so large, so beautiful, I could drown in them.
I lift her chin, muscles painfully clenching. This emotion will be the death of me.
I’d gone so long without feeling. Hardly thinking beyond survival.
My love for her could rupture fate. I would let it, even if it meant she’d hate me. I am weak for that.
The longing on her face digs into my soul, and I bear it just for the chance to be near her a moment longer. I sit beside her, uncertain I will be able to control my body soon enough.
“I care for you.” The words feel so small. So stupid. Meaningless. Nothing.
Nothing compared to the magnitude of their truth.
She jerks away from my touch. “Don’t lie to me. I am nothing to you, remember?”
“My biggest lie of all.”
She shakes her head, expression full of confusion and dismay. Maybe that should bother me, but it doesn’t. My disease continues spreading, and I celebrate its victories.
I will succumb to my devotion, and I will rejoice as it destroys me.
