“I’m well aware.” He chuckles. “But I wouldn’t have felt much pressure, in that circumstance. You could go years without wanting me in the slightest and that would have been okay. Here in Shadow Hills, we grew close faster than I’d expected which made everything feel so intense with you. It hurt like hell when you pushed me away because I had been so close. I felt it. You were right there, and I didn’t understand what I had done wrong.”
He shakes his head.
“In hindsight it’s a very good thing we grew close so fast.”
My stomach clenches. If we hadn’t been linked during that final battle, I wouldn’t have known how to get the nullifier to him. He might have died, while I killed our enemy.
What a tragedy that would have been.
I never would have been able to get over my guilt of not accepting him.
I never would have never known for certain that he had chosen me.
“So how would you have done it?” I ask, mostly as a distraction. I don’t like thinking about the worst-case scenarios. I like thinking about the fun hypotheticals. Like how my completely obsessed demon prince would have wooed me in such a mundane scenario.
“Maybe I would have studied statistics fervently so I could become your tutor.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Math sucks.”
His lips twitch. “Or maybe I would have protected you from some frat guys. I could have become friends with whatever group you fell into, so we’d be around each other more. I don’t know.”
“You would have had to befriended me,” a soft voice says over the pulsing music.
We both turn to see Liz standing against the doorframe, a mollifying potion in her hand. My heart lifts, just seeing her be a part of this place gives me hope, even though I don’t miss the dead look in her eyes.
It’s been almost one full year since her “death.” I’m more thankful that she’s alive than I could ever possibly express, but just one look at her and it’s clear that part of her died in those games. My sister might never be the same again.
“That would have been the best tactic,” Liz says, eyes drifting down to the liquid in her glass.
Jarron doesn’t respond, though I can feel that he agrees with her assessment. So do I.
“You were always the way to my heart,” I agree.
Liz forces a smile. We haven’t spoken about my bond with Jarron since she was freed. She believed herself to be Jarron’s mate for months. She wanted it, to some degree. Is she bitter about his choice? Will jealousy plague our relationship going forward?
She’s going through so much, I don’t think now is the time to deal with concerns like that, though. She’s been traumatized, in so many ways. It will take her a while to learn to hope again.
“Do you want to play truth or dare?” I ask Liz, nodding to the group gathered farther down the balcony laughing at Elliot as he spins around and around.
She shakes her head quickly.
“You’ll be safe here,” I tell her. “Next year. You’ll—it will be good. I promise.”
The Interdimensional Courts said they’d only allow her to be free if she was watched closely by an approved institution. Mrs. Bhatt gladly offered Liz a place as a student here at Shadow Hills. She won’t start classes until next year though. For now, she’s spent most of her time at home with our parents and getting some much-needed therapy.
I don’t know what will happen to her after that, but we’re kind of in a one-step-at-a-time mindset.
She swallows. “I don’t know what good even means anymore.”
My stomach twists. I push away from Jarron and approach my sister. “Do you want me to stay with you? I can take another year—”
“No.” She doesn’t meet my eyes. “No, you would make it worse.”
I frown. “Make what worse?”
“You would be a constant reminder of who I am. What I’ve done. No one would ever let it go. I want to slip into the shadows and exist here. I don’t want any attention.”
I take in a long breath, trying to convince the pressure on my chest to ease. I know what that kind of attention is like, and Liz will likely have it even worse than I did.
