“Go back. What are you talking about Liz?”
“I’m saying that we were all surprised he moved on with you of all people.”
My stomach sinks.“Moved on,” I say slowly, trying not to show my horror. “From Liz?”
Her eyebrows pull down.“Ye—Wait. Did you not know?”
I close my eyes. I think I might faint. “Know what?”
She steps forward quickly, hands up as if surrendering. “Sorry. I thought you knew. They weren’t ever together, not really.”
“Please explain,” I say, barely managing to control my voice from pitching super high, barely able to stop from screaming. “Now.”
“Jarron always had a thing for Liz. They kissed the night before he turned, and then, well, you know how that turned out. He’s been Mr. Piney Pants since then. He was in love with her, I guess. Then, you know, she died and you showed up.” She shrugs, like it makes all the sense in the world and there’s no point in expanding any further.
My mind spins. In the library, Bea had implied Jarron had held a flame for me.
Or had I misunderstood what she was saying? I replay what I can remember from that conversation. Did she ever say me? She did say the Montgomery sisters.
“Are you okay? You look really pale.”
Of course I’m not okay, idiot!I want to scream those words, but I can’t. Don’t show weakness.Don’t ever show them your weakness.
My mind is spinning too rapidly. I don’t know what to do or what to think. I don’t know if I believe her.
This is Bea, the girl who will do anything to get under people’s skin and into their mind. The problem is, this time, it’s working. I find that secret place inside that’s full of fiery rage and steely determination.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I lost my journal, though,” I say, looking down at the pile of things.
“Oh, hmm.” She looks around, her expression telling me she’s not at all concerned about my book. I can’t explain that it’s actually really important. “Did you take it out of your bag at any point last night?” she asks.
I frown. I didn’t.
This is something to focus on besides Liz and Jarron.
I wince. If I think about them together, I’m going to barf. Nope, not thinking about it.
Instead, I play through my actions from yesterday pre-gala.
I went straight from the potions room to Bea’s room, then I had dropped my bag and forgot it existed the moment I walked into her closet. I shake my head. “No. I must have left it in Under Hall.” But I can picture myself putting the journal in the bag. I remember doing it.
“Oh, yeah. You were late. You were probably flustered and missed it.”
Right. Sure. My stomach is in knots for several reasons, but the last thing I want is to show weakness to Bea.
“All right, let’s go find Jarron and let him know I’m gonna go back to find it.”
“Mmkay,” Bea says happily.
I refuse to even let my mind rove over the implications that Bea threw at me oh so casually. This was part of her plan, certainly.
Losing my journal is still nerve wracking, though. If someone were to find it, they’d get insights into some of my darker thoughts. Things I don’t want anyone to know I’ve felt. The pouring of my heartbreak over my sister.
They’ll also know why I’m really here. They’ll know I’m researching all of them.
Every single person in Elite Hall has been under my microscope.
My heart is pattering as we walk back, mind running over the events of yesterday.
