Syd buried her face in her hands. “I don’t know. Octavian thinks I have never experienced true happiness before and thisis what brings on my distress. He says I am at a loss and don’t know how to deal with it.”
“Is he wrong?” Lady Dayne said.
“He is being sensible and reasonable, trying to make logical sense of something that is illogical. He is not wrong, but there is more to it. I am happy with him and dearly want to stay in this marriage. But I cannot shake off this sense of doom. Something terrible is going to happen to destroy us. I just know it.”
The two dowagers exchanged worried looks.
Lady Withnall spoke up. “My dear, if you keep looking for this to happen, then it will happen. You will cause it.”
“Pushing Octavian away is the wrong thing to do,” Lady Dayne added. “Every marriage has problems along the way. I do not care how perfect a couple may appear to others. Nothing is ever ideal. What matters is how the two of you approach these problems. If you love him and he loves you, then fight for each other. Solve whatever troubles come your way by working together.”
Marigold agreed. “Octavian’s greatest pain will be in losing you. Keeping him at arm’s length, abandoning him becauseyoubelieve it is best for him, will only cause him greater hurt. Will ending your marriage make you feel any better? No, it would not. Your own heart would never forgive you for betraying his love.”
Syd knew they all meant well, but none of them understood. “So you are saying I must stay with him even though I would bring shame and disgrace upon him and his family?”
Lady Withnall frowned at her. “Syd, you must tell us the truth. Do you know something we do not? What are you not telling us?”
“Nothing. Upon my word. Whatever it is, has not happened yet.”
“Or may never happen,” Sophie added. “Will you throw away everything for this?”
Lady Withnall grunted as she eased back in her chair. “The solution is easy.”
Syd stared at her. “It is?”
“Yes, my dear. Whatever this terrible thing is that you are convinced will happen can only be overcome by love. If it brings shame on you and Octavian, then will it not bring shame whether you are together or apart? He is already tainted because you are married to each other. Spurning you later will not help him remove the taint.”
“Yes,” Gory said, latching onto the idea. “It is like indelible ink. Once spilled, the stain will never come out.”
“So, how better to fight whatever problem arises than together?” Lady Withnall asked. “Octavian is never going to turn around and run anyway. His every instinct will be, and has always been, to protect you.”
“And my every instinct has always been to protect him. If my leaving can save his career, does it not make sense for me to go?”
“Are you not listening to anything we’ve said?” Marigold frowned at her and huffed.
“Precisely, Marigold,” Lady Withnall remarked, and then once again turned to Syd. “Anything bad enough to destroy his career will destroy it whether you stay or go because he has already committed to you and all of London knows it. And what makes you think Octavian would care more for his career than for you? Who are you to make that choice for him? Is it not something that ought to be decided upon together?”
Marigold, who truly was softhearted, took out her handkerchief as her tears began to flow.
Syd groaned. “Marigold, why are you crying?”
“For you. Is it not obvious? You cannot give up on true love, Syd. Look at what Leo and I had to endure, but did Iever consider leaving him? No. Not once. Not for a moment.” She paused and groaned. “But he considered leaving me. That is true. He thought to protect me. But how was losing him ever the better choice? My heart would have shattered in a thousand pieces and never mended. I told him so.”
“Did he listen?” Syd asked, knowing the answer, for Leo could be stubborn when he wanted to be. Nothing Marigold said was going to change his mind.
“No, he was too thickheaded and refused. But he eventually realized I was right because love always find a way, Syd. Lovealwaysfinds a way. I found the mate of my soul in Leo. I do not think I am mistaken in saying Octavian is yours. So why are you giving up on this precious gift?”
Gory agreed. “I know you better than anyone else does, Syd. You would never have married Octavian, no matter how dire your circumstances, if you had a single doubt about your feelings for him. And you married him twice. Who marriestwice? You never even believed you would marry once. Does this not tell you something?”
Lady Dayne decided to add her opinion. “Oh, my goodness. I could see the sparks fly between you and Octavian every time you two met. You riled him at every turn. He constantly wanted to throttle you. But mostly, he wanted to kiss you. The poor man ached for it.”
Sophie laughed lightly. “It was such fun to watch him struggle with these feelings that bemused him and probably terrified him, for his life had been quite trouble-free until you came along. But he knew the moment he set eyes on you that his rakish lifestyle had come to an end. Whether he was ready or not, his heart had chosen you. Well, Syd? Have we resolved your situation? You may not know what is going to happen, but the solution will not be found by running away from Octavian.”
In truth, they were very helpful.
Perhaps they were right.
Octavian had never come out and said he loved her, but he was clear about wanting their marriage to last, and often called herloveormy loveas an endearment.
