He held her in his arms as though she were delicate and precious, which she was…although perhaps not really delicate.He liked that she was brave and spirited, and especially liked that she was now kissing him back with innocent ardor.
Blessed saints!
What was he doing?
Had this kiss just sealed his fate?
He ended the kiss and awaited her response.
She stared at him for the longest time, then burst into tears.
This is why Syd was the most frustrating young woman it was ever his misfortune to know. Could she not even test out a kiss without twisting his heart in knots? “Syd, stop crying. Are you going to marry me or not?”
CHAPTER 2
“NOT,” SHE REPLIED,ignoring Octavian’s muffled curse as he stepped away from her and began to pace. All she saw through her tears was his gorgeous body and all its perfect musculature, which was the very reason she could not get too close to this devastatingly handsome man or she would lose her heart to him.
Was she not in dire enough straits?
He stopped pacing and paused in front of her. “Are you suggesting you did not like the kiss? I want the truth, Syd. Do not give me hogwash.”
She let out the breath she had been holding, which was a mistake because she breathed him in again. The scent of his skin was intoxicating. Hot. Male. Bergamot that blended so beautifully with his warm skin. “I liked the kiss.”
He raked a hand through his neatly cropped head of dark hair as his tension appeared to ease. “Then where is the problem?”
“What if I fall in love with you and it turns out you do not want me?” In fact, she could not understand why he had developed this protective attitude toward her. This man could have any woman he wanted and did not need to be burdened with her. Her heart had died a little when rumors began to circulate of his courting the Duke of Renfield’s daughter, Lady Clementine.
Nothing had come of those rumors…yet.
If his feelings for Lady Clementine were true, then how could he ever grow to loveher?
It was not going to happen.
Syd knew enough about Octavian to understand he was a one-woman man.
Besides, men did not fall in love with her. She chased men away because she was too outspoken, too independent, too smart, and too much of everything a man did not want in a wife. At some point over the course of their nine months as husband and wife, she knew Octavian would grow disillusioned and rue his mistake.
Was it not better to make the inevitable break now?
But that kiss…her very first.
It was everything splendid she hoped it would be, a wonderful and exquisite kiss filled with promise, but one she knew would never be fulfilled because of who she was.
“Syd, do you really think you could fall in love with me?” He was staring at her quite intently as he wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumbs, and now gently cupped her face in his hands so that she could not turn away from him as she answered.
She stared into those deep, silver-gray eyes of his that seemed to draw her into the mists of time. “I don’t know, Octavian. I don’t even know what love is because I was not raised in a happy marriage. Oh, I’ve seen how good it can be now that Adela and your brother, Ambrose, are married. They are so kind and loving toward each other and yet maintain the essence of themselves. The same for Marigold and Leo, and how devoted they are to each other while still allowing the other to shine. How do I achieve this? Do I dare? What happens when you decide I am a huge mistake and cannot bear to be around me any longer?”
“Syd, you are thinking too hard about it. Let’s just take it one step at a time, the first step being getting us up to Gretna Green. You’ll have a full week in my company–”
“And you’ll have a full week in mine,” she said with a nod, for he was right. This plan they were devising was not carved in stone. It could change over the course of the next few days. No matter what happened, Octavian would not abandon her penniless in the wilds of Scotland. If anything, he would be generous with her and ensure her safe return to London.
Why was she so worried?
This protective nature of his was the essence of who he was. Strong, compassionate, always going to look out for her whether he cared for her or not.
“What’s your decision, Syd?” He still held her face cupped in his big hands while awaiting her answer, obviously hoping she had changed her mind. Why he should care was beyond her, but if he was willing then so was she.
Well, she was willing for now.
