He understood her better than anyone ever had, even better than her dearest friends, Adela, Gory, and Marigold, the youngest of them who had recently been added to their trusted circle. They were the sisters she had always wished to have. They shared similar academic interests, and refused to abide by Society’s strict rules on appropriate feminine behavior.
Their friendship meant everything to her, and she intended to seek their advice on how to build a successful marriage when she returned to London. Adela and Marigold had husbands who understood their hopes and dreams, and encouraged them with their full support.
She never thought Octavian would be such a man because he liked to be in command and also had very strong protective instincts. For this reason, she assumed he would want to keep her under his thumb. She had been so wrong about that. Yes, he was demanding, but he was also very thoughtful and often gave into her ideas. He was protective, but how could she fault that trait when he had saved her from a horrific marriage to Sir Henry?
He was fierce, and yet always gentle with her. This was important because he could otherwise be quite intimidating.
Not that she would ever buckle to intimidation.
For a strong man, he was remarkably averse to using his fists. She’d noticed how often he managed to talk his way out of a situation rather than fight, even when he had the better odds on his side.
Was it shameful that she had gotten into more tavern brawls than he had?
This said something about her, did it not?
He cast her a soft look as she tended to the lump on his brow. His lips were so close to hers, she wanted to lean in the littlest bitand kiss him. Did she not have the right to kiss him now that she was his wife?
“Syd, are you fretting again? You do that a lot, you know.”
“I do?” She nodded, realizing she had been nibbling her lip while tending to him, thinking about him, and debating whether or not to kiss him. “Yes, I do. You seem to bring it out in me. Not on purpose, mind you. The blame is on me. I don’t know what to do about you.”
He had been surprisingly agreeable for much of this trip, but would it always be this way between them?
“Don’t think too hard, Syd. Open up your heart and allow your feelings to flow. The rest will take care of itself.”
She groaned. “That requires letting down my guard, and I’m not sure how to do that. I’ve spent my life worrying about what calamity might happen next. I’ve built this protective shell around me ever since I was a child. My parents could never be described as doting. I think I often disappointed them.”
“They were in the wrong, Syd. It wasn’t you.”
She wanted to believe him, but did it matter now? The damage had been done to her and the past could not be changed. “Because of my father’s profligate ways, I was raised to always been on alert and ready to run at a moment’s notice when creditors bore down on us. Did you know they often come around at night?”
“No, I did not. My family has little experience with debt collectors because we always pay our debts.”
“Your family is wonderful. So are you.” She cast him a worried smile. “Octavian, what’s going to happen tonight?”
He arched an eyebrow. “In the marital bed?”
She nodded.
“Oh, Syd. We are husband and wife, not debtor and creditor. Whatever happens tonight shall be whatever you wish to happen.”
She released a breath, but was not truly relieved. Their marriage ought to be a partnership, and yet he was conceding everything to her on their wedding night. “What about your wishes? They ought to matter, too.”
He cast her a remarkably affectionate smile. “You surprise me. That is quite a wifely thing to say.”
She looked up at him.
He appeared so pleased by her simple remark. “Is it? I should think it was common courtesy. Oh, and I am so rarely courteous. Is that what you mean?”
She tried to scramble off his lap, but he would not release her. “That is not what I said or ever meant. Why are you twisting my words?”
“How am I twisting them?”
“First of all, you are courteous and know how to comport yourself like a lady. However, there are times you get a bug up your arse and–”
“Octavian!”
“You know this what you do, Syd. You are quick to toss courtesy aside whenever someone says or does something that is not to your liking. I am not faulting you for standing up for yourself or others.”
