“It might have been.”
“Syd, you know that is not true. Many fathers believe their daughters are their possession to do with as they wish. Your father is not the only scoundrel who thinks this way. These Scots might have sided with him and felt he had the right to choose your husband, even as poor a choice as Sir Henry. They might have prevented our wedding ceremony. But to keep a man from making an honest woman of the lass who is carrying his child?His child.No man was going to stop the ceremony and interfere with my act of honor.”
She stared down at her hands. “Still, it stings.”
“I know.” He spoke gently, for he understood how embarrassed she felt. Her father had not only gambled away his assets but stolen her funds as well as her inheritance from her grandmother and her dowry. He had probably pawned anything of value she had ever owned. This prideful girl had come into the marriage with nothing left but her maidenhood. To have that stripped away because the Armstrongs misunderstood his need for haste and thought he had bedded her was a final humiliation. “We’ll have a proper wedding reception once we are back in London. How does that sound to you?”
She continued to stare down at her clasped hands. “I don’t know.”
“All right, fair enough. Just know that I am going to treat you with respect as my wife. I cannot repair what has already been done, but I can promise you that I will honor our marriage vows.”
“Our make-believe marriage vows.”
He raked a hand through his hair again. “Can you not bring that up for the rest of the day?”
She looked up now. “Why, Octavian?”
“I just don’t want to talk about a sham marriage. All right?”
“If you insist.” She gave a careless shrug. “You seem to have no trouble lying about my honor. So why get irate when pretending this marriage is something other than fake?”
“Because it does not have to be fake.” He took her hands in his, surprised by how cold they were, for the weather was relatively mild. However, he knew the Scottish climate was not to blame. She was bereft and feeling cold inside, their hasty ceremony having left much to be desired. She’d spent more time this morning deciding on whether to drink tea or cocoa than in repeating wedding vows.
His morning piss had taken longer than the entire ceremony.
He rubbed her hands lightly to warm them. “Syd, we could make this work. We could turn this into something real and lasting. Will you give us the chance?”
CHAPTER 10
SYD WANTED THEIRmarriage to be real, but how could it be when she had come to Octavian with nothing? She might have gotten over her pride and agreed to try and make it work, if not for her own horrible family. How long before her father brought more shame upon them all?
Did Octavian not understand what a future with her would bring him?
Even if he could overlook the failures of her parents, he still had to deal with her own faults. Was she not too independent? Too stubborn and irreverent? In short, she was no prize. It was only a matter of time before he realized she was not what he had bargained for and wanted out of the marriage.
Why would he want to stay married to an unbiddable, opinionatedtonmisfit?
As for her, she longed for a happy family life with Octavian. How likely was it to happen? To make matters worse, she was already falling in love with him. Was this not a dangerous thing? How was she to maintain a happy marriage when she did not even know how to be a good wife? If her mother was to be believed, she had never even been a good daughter.
What had she done to bring her mother such disappointment? It was a mystery to Syd. She had tried so hard to gain her approval, but nothing ever worked. As for her hopes and dreams, both parents dismissed those as frivolous and irrelevant. “No man wants a wife more educated than him,” her father had remarked, thinking to give her a kindly warning.
Yes, he was always kind to her, even as he wasted the Harcourt assets and made all sorts of idiotic decisions.
“Syd, you are fretting again,” Octavian said when they stopped at a charming inn known as the Abbott’s Cross located somewhere north of the town of Moffat.
She nodded. “I was thinking of you and what you said about making this real.”
His hands stilled on her waist as he helped her descend from the carriage. “Have you come to a decision?”
“I haven’t made up my mind yet, Octavian.”
He sighed and helped her down. “All right. But try not to look so miserable on our wedding day. Can you pretend to be a happy newlywed until we are settled in our chamber?”
“I am happy,” she insisted. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. But how can I ever be more than a curse to you?”
“Ah, Syd. It is shameful what your parents have done to you. They did not appreciate the gem they had in you, and now they have broken you.”
“And you think you can fix me?” She tried not to sound hopeful because this was such a difficult task.
