“We did, and for now it is. But if I am to bed you– and by bed you, I do not mean merely sleeping in the same bed– if I am to know you intimately, then honor demands that I protect you and keep you as my wife.”
“Even if you decide later that you cannot abide me?”
“Yes, because I could never just toss you to the wolves and abandon you.”
“But it would not be abandonment if we agreed upon it. And I know you will not leave me destitute. Not that I wouldbe without means if I were permitted to work with Gory in the Huntsford Academy forensic laboratory. Would your brother allow this?”
“Ambrose?”
She nodded. “He is the duke and it is one of his holdings. I know he is generous with his workers and the pay would be sufficient to support me. Perhaps I would no longer be able to move about in the highest social circles, but what do I care about that? Adela, Gory, and I were always considered oddities. Everyone laughed at us.”
“My brothers and I never did.”
“Because you are decent and honorable men, which is exactly why I would only consider such a thing with you and no one else. Ack!” she cried as he suddenly lifted her onto his lap. “What are you doing?”
He tipped her face up so that she had to meet his gaze. “Stay still, Syd. Do not try to squirm away.”
“But–”
“We’ll finish this discussion with you in my arms, now that you have conveniently fallen into them.”
“Ha! You hauled me onto your lap.”
He nodded, but did not relent. “I am not letting go of you. If you want me in your bed, teaching you about love, then we are going to get some rules straight here and now.”
“While I sit on your lap? You can spout your rules as I sit on the bed. Need I point out that you have already given me two rules?”
“Those do not count. They were rules of the road. These are to be rules of the bed.”
She blushed. “Why must there always be rules with you? Is it your Royal Navy discipline? Or did you have a natural affinity for the navy because you were a little boy who thrived on rules?”
“I have no idea. It isn’t relevant. My concern is about your heart. I know you will lose your heart to me once I claim you. And do not accuse me of being full of myself. I know that the act of love cannot be merely a learning experience for you. Syd, you think you are independent and forward thinking. But there is a gentler side to you and it is very traditional. When you give your body to me, it will also come with your heart.”
She frowned at him. “I can control my heart.”
He laughed. “Not even I, as stone cold as I can sometimes be, am able to control my own heart. Think about it, Syd. If I cannot do it– and I like to control everything– how are you, with your inexperience, to manage it? I assure you, my heart makes its own decisions. Yours will, too. I worry that it will cause you hurt.”
“You needn’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.” She tried to get off his lap, but he was not finished with her yet and had no intention of letting her up. “Octavian, is this not the very reason we will constantly be fighting in our marriage? We are both too stubborn and controlling. This is why I am not trying to alter the agreement about our make-believe marriage. Our deal stands.”
“But we now allow for exploration of each other’s bodies? No expectation of commitment?” He shook his head and frowned. “I know you love studying your cadavers, but a living person is quite another matter. Shall I give you an example?”
“What sort of example?”
“Just a kiss. It is the safest thing I can think of at the moment.”
“A safe, harmless kiss?” she muttered. “Well, that’s all right then. Yes, please kiss me and allow me to prove you wrong.”
He was going to kiss the slippers off this girl.
He was going to kiss her until her body turned to fire.
He was going to kiss her into forever.
Syd’s curiosity was taking over her common sense. But this was Syd, her scientific mind eager to test everything. This had nothing to do with loving him to the point of desperation…not yet, anyway. But he was going to give it his best because he wanted this lovely girl to lose her heart to him by the time he was through with his kissing lesson.
“Stay on my lap, but turn your body slightly toward mine.” He drew her up against him so that her breasts now pressed against his chest. He did this purposely because he wanted her to be aware of his body and her physical response to it.
Next, his arms came around her. But he made certain to hold her gently, using just enough strength to keep her from squirming out of his grasp. “If you change your mind, all you have to do is tell me to stop. I will not be angry or irritated.”
