She let out a soft breath. “All right. I’m sorry. It’s just that I am so torn about whether I am doing the right thing. I’m putting you and my father in danger.”
He emitted a soft growl. “We are both grown men. Don’t you dare place blame on yourself for a situation completely of your father’s own making. As for me, I volunteered. You did not coerce me. Nor could you have forced me to do anything I did not wish to do.”
He stretched out on his seat bench when she released his hands, and tried to settle his large frame as comfortably as possible upon the soft leather. “I plan to catch up on my sleep since we got very little of it last night,” he said, folding his arms across his chest and closing his eyes. “I suggest you do the same. You look exhausted, Syd.”
She also looked achingly beautiful, but he preferred not to mention this because they were already in too close quarters andhis thoughts continually strayed toward the impolite things he wished to do to her.
Oh, the things he could teach her.
Well, perhaps once they were married.
He watched her through hooded lids, pleased when she curled up on the opposite seat. “Octavian, I slept quite soundly once I was in your bed.”
“Good, Syd,” he muttered.
“It is a very nice bed and the scent on your sheets was quite pleasing. I think it was your scent, bergamot. Well, the point is that I felt safe and my sleep was delightful because I knew you were near me.”
He stifled his yawn, for he did not want to discourage Syd from talking to him. “I’m glad. This is why I intend to stay near you during our ride north.”
“You really have a very comfortable bed. But I am still quite spent from all the tension of this situation.” She paused a moment and nibbled her lip. “I don’t mean that your offering me a rescue plan is the reason for my tension. It does calm me to a point, but now I find myself worried about your getting hurt.”
There was only one way he would get hurt and that was if Syd ended up not caring for him. Again, he intended to keep that thought to himself.
She was not ready to hear anything of a romantic nature.
Nor did he understand why he liked her as much as he did.
“What keeps me tense is my father and his foolish investments,” she said, apparently not yet finished chattering at him, “not to mention his gambling, and Sir Henry being such an ogre. These are what have me so worried. I want to help my father, but I shudder to think what would happen if I married Sir Henry to settle my father’s debt and then learned my father ran up more debts. Do you think Sir Henry would help him out with those new obligations?”
“Syd, surely you know the answer. He will let your father rot because Sir Henry has no incentive to help him once he has you. In fact, he will laugh at your father when this happens. Is there a doubt? How many times does it bear repeating? All you will accomplish by shackling yourself to that despicable man is gain a life of misery for yourself. Meanwhile, your father will continue his foolish ways, continue to run up debts, and get himself in trouble again within a year.”
“You may have to keep reminding me. I am in so much agony right now.”
“Because your loyalty is misplaced. Yes, he is your father and you love him. But it is he who made the mistakes and must own up to them. Even so, I will do what I can once we are married.” He had been viewing her through hooded lids, but now opened his eyes fully and met her gaze. “Let me sleep, Syd. We will discuss this again later if you insist on it.”
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to keep you awake. It could not have been very comfortable for you to sleep on your floor.”
“It was fine.”
“You are only saying this to be kind. You come across as cross and gruff, but you are quite a fine gentleman. I wish my father was more like you. I used to think he was so charming, but I know better now. Well, he is charming and affable, but quite selfish and scatterbrained. I would add forgetful, too. How does one ignore one’s own mistakes and repeat them not even a few weeks later? He is so much like a child.”
“And you are not his mother,” Octavian warned.
“But I am his daughter.”
“That’s right. His daughter. Not his cattle to be sold at auction.” Is this what married life was going to be with Syd? Constant talk? Constant reassurance that she was doing the right thing? Perhaps he was the one who would need the reassurance once they crossed into Scotland and were aboutto wed. “Are you going to keep me awake the entire ride to Oxford?”
“My, but you are a grumpy fellow.” But one look at her big eyes and the soft smile she now cast him removed any doubts he might have about marrying her. This girl needed him and he felt bloody good about it.
Perhaps he needed her, too.
He had not figured out why yet.
Octavian realized he must have drifted off to sleep for at least an hour. When he woke up, they were well outside of London and making good time. If the weather held and this Huntsford carriage was exchanged for a plain passenger coach without delay once they reached Oxford, it was possible to get a good distance beyond Oxford before nightfall.
He would need to arrange for the safe return of his carriage to the Huntsford townhouse. Hopefully that would not take too long, either. Hastings was an experienced driver and knew how to care for the carriage and horses.
Most of all, Octavian hoped the weather would remain clear so they could put more distance between them and Sir Henry before the old bounder realized Syd was no longer in London.
