“Oh, no. It isn’t possible,” Syd said, confirming his own thoughts. “Well, who knows what happened between them in the early years? Perhaps she did regard him with affection in the beginning. And as you say, he might have spurned her. Yet, I have never known my father to be unfaithful. For all his faults, this was never one of them.”
She sighed and continued. “How could my mother have loved him and to this day never bothered to tell him so? Or ever shown him a scintilla of caring or compassion? In this I cannot condemn my father for finally having had enough. She never smiles. She never has a kind word to say for anyone, least of all him. You’ve referred to her as icy. But that is just her facade. Inside, she is a bubbling cauldron of dark thoughts and feelings. The irony is that she does not even realize she will be destroying herself along with him. Social standing is everything to her. Perhaps she does realize it and no longer cares. She certainly has never cared for me.”
She looked up at Octavian, her beautiful eyes filled with so much pain. “Are there such people, Octavian? Those who cannot abide happiness and seek to destroy it in others? Is this what she is doing? Destroying everything my father holds dear? How can I have been so blind not to see the depth of her resentment? I am such an idiot.”
He still had his hands on her slight shoulders and now rubbed them lightly in a gesture meant to comfort her. “You are not an idiot, Syd.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “But I am. I walked around thinking I was so clever. A bluestocking know-it-all. Yet, I could not see what was going on under my very nose.”
“How could you know, love? Your heart has always been filled with hope and compassion. What a strong, little heart yours must have been as a child to overcome her vindictive bile.This is your heart now, too. Strong, resilient, full of compassion and goodness.”
She threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. “I love you, Octavian. I love you with all my heart and soul. But I will give you the annulment because I will not have your good name ruined by all this. If an annulment is not possible, then I shall grant you the divorce. We can accomplish this as quietly as possible. I never cared for any of the privileges of rank. I don’t want anything from you. I am not afraid to work hard and make my own way. Well, I may need your help in securing employment. I would enjoy working in a museum or other place of knowledge. I understand that any position at the Huntsford Academy would be out of the question now, of course. You would need to cut all ties with me.”
He eased out of the hug and took her hands in his. “Are you done with your list of demands?”
“What demands? I have only asked for your help in seeking employment.” She stared at him through her misty eyes. “Am I not being reasonable?”
“Not at all. You are assuming I wish to end our marriage, which I do not.”
Her eyes widened. “But once the scandal breaks–”
“I do not care. Lord, Syd. How could you think I would?”
“What about your Admiralty work? Your career. Your impending promotion.”
He kissed her with raw abandon, wanting her to feel the tingle on her lips long after the kiss ended. Wanting her to feelhimon her lips and not forget him. “It is all worth nothing if I do not have you beside me. I do not care who you are or where you came from. In truth, I think you are an angel sent from heaven.”
She gave a wistful laugh. “I’m not sure you understand the definition of angel, if you think I am that.”
“I understand it perfectly. An angel is a good, sweet soul who is beautiful in appearance but occasionally irritating, often impossibly independent, and incredibly opinionated. An angel is also recklessly fearless in her defense of others. Sound familiar? Because you are exactly that. This is why you havealwaysbeen perfect for me. No matter how much of what your parents told you is true, even if all of it is true, I do not care. All that matters is you are mine now. Mine to love and protect.”
“Octavian, you cannot mean that.”
“Every bloody word. You are my happiness. You are my heart and my future. I have no intention of giving you up.”
She place a finger to his lips and slid it lightly back and forth across his mouth to quiet him as she gazed at him in wonder. “I will not hold you to this. You need to sleep on such an important decision that will change the course of your life. Think about it overnight, Octavian. Or take longer. I do not intend to force you into making a rash choice.”
“I am not the rash one in this marriage,” he reminded her, his manner light and affectionate.
She managed a small smile. “I know, but you are very quick to dismiss the potential damage to your future. You sounded very much like me just now. Hotheaded. Impassioned. Stubbornly certain you were right.”
“Because I am right. There is nothing to consider.”
“The repercussions of this scandal might take weeks or months to unfold,” she needlessly warned because he was fully aware of all that could happen, especially the damage to his chances of promotion to the rank of admiral.
It all paled in comparison to losing her.
“You need to think calmly about this without my interference. I’ll ask Mrs. Quinn to prepare one of the guest chambers for me.”
He held her fast to him when she attempted to rise. “No, you won’t. Syd, so help me…don’t you dare turn martyr on me. Sacrificing your happiness is not going to save me from strife. We are married and will stay married, and that’s an end to it.”
She frowned at him. “Why are you being so difficult?”
“Me?” Octavian shook his head and laughed. “Have I not been clear enough? I do not care who your true parents might be. They could not possibly be any worse than Harcourt and his wife. In truth, I would cheer loudest and longest upon having it confirmed that you are no blood relation to them. Could anyone have in-laws worse than them?”
He tipped her chin up to bring her face closer to his, and then dipped his head and kissed her full on the mouth again. She had the prettiest bow lips, soft and slightly plump. Lips a man could sink into and lose himself in their splendor.
Her body was the same, soft in all the right places, and curved in all the best places. In addition, she loved him truly. There was never any guile or artifice about Syd. He knew exactly where she stood on any subject, especially those she was passionate about, because she gave her opinion whether asked for or not. “I married you for better or for worse, minx.”
