And Narissa highly doubted an arranged marriage and an accidental bond would be enough to change his mind.
The moment the sun broke the horizon, Narissa burrowed herself into a thick fur coat and headed down to the beach. The wind bit through her heavy skirts and she wished she’d been smart enough to grab an extra layer for added warmth. She looped a wicker basket over one arm and her leather boots sank deep into the damp sand with each step. Eventually the call of the ocean drowned out the howl of the wind, but it did little to erase the frigid air from smacking her cheeks and whipping her hair.
Narissa sniffed, pressing her lips together as she bent down to gather some fresh herbs and plants for her potions. She rummaged through the overgrowth near the shoreline, collecting stems of sun thistle and jaded aura flowers. Every so often she paused to grab some seashells that caught her eye. Some were shaped like swirling cones, others reminded her of tiny fans. They ranged in color too—washed white, pearlescent blue, and the shimmer of a melted sunset. She rinsed away the grit and sand, dipping them in the waves that came to kiss the shore.
Even as she rolled over the word “kiss” then quickly tried to shove it into the recesses of her despairing thoughts, an image of Solarius popped into her mind.
The devastated look in his eyes as he held her, the way the silver of them burned hot the moment he lifted her into his arms.
And the kiss…oh sweet shores,that kiss.
Solarius had not been gentle or kind, he hadn’t taken his time exploring her. No, he’d wanted to claim and conquer. His mouth slashed over hers, demanding she accept all he was willing to give. His tongue tangled with hers, tasting and devouring, drawing out her inhibitions. When his grip on her bottom tightened, when he squeezed her flesh, possessing her with his hands, Narissa had unraveled. She’d melted into him, knowing she was made for him. And the way his cock nestled so pleasantly between her legs while she was in his arms…if she’d adjusted herself just a bit, angled herself a little differently, he would have filled her completely.
His body was more cut than she remembered. Muscular and toned, she’d wanted nothing more than to lick every solid inch of him. Especially his rather impressive cock. She definitely didn’t recall him being quite so large when she first lay with him, but then again, most of that evening was an uncomfortable blur.
Warmth pooled low in her belly and goosebumps that had absolutely nothing to do with the cold riddled her flesh. Her nipples hardened, straining against the confines of her gown.
Narissa stood and blew out a breath, lifting her face to the sky so the bitter wind could cool her cheeks.
If she wasn’t careful, she’d let her guard down, and Solarius would knowexactlywhat she was thinking about…he would know exactly what she wanted.
“Again, I find you without your husband,” a familiar male voice called over the rushing waves.
Narissa spun around to face her cousin, schooling her expression into one of bored neutrality. “Reif, we’ve been over this. My time is of no value to him.”
She lifted her basket, displaying the contents of plants and shells as though it was some kind of proof. “He doesn’t care about me.”
Reif strolled toward her, kicking up sand in his wake. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his heavy overcoat, and he dipped his chin as he approached, unfazed by her explanation. “He told you that, did he?”
Narissa bit her lip. “Well, not in those words.”
The lie tasted foul in her mouth. In fact, Solarius told her quite the opposite. He claimed her time, her emotions, her feelings…that all of her mattered. But his promises were easily made and easily broken, just like the crust of a pie.
Reif shoved his wavy blond hair back from his face, his eyes softening. “Then he said he didn’t want to spend time with you?”
“Ah…” Another moment when she’d shut Solarius down completely. He’d asked to go with her when she left the music room, and again she’d denied him. She’d left him, until he’d followed her to the tide pools. But now Reif was staring at her like she was an ever-growing thorn in his side. “We’re simply not compatible.”
Reif rocked back onto his heels, digging them deeper into the sand. He roughed his knuckles along the line of his jaw, his gaze drifting to the horizon to the east. “I suppose it’s kind of difficult to come to such a decision when you never spend time with one another.”
“He doesn’t want me, Reif.” Exasperation splintered through her, but even though she believed the words she spoke once before, now she wasn’t entirely sure. Last night, those fleeting moments they shared in the tide pool spoke silent volumes. If anything, it cemented the fact that Solarius absolutely wanted her, at least physically, but she was terrified of losing her heart to him again. Narissa clutched the basket to her waist, stiffening against the gusting breeze. She grasped for the final excuse and tossed it to him. “Solarius is the one who ended our courtship, not me.”
Reif leveled her with a singular, questioning look. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did he end your courtship?”
An excellent question, one that had haunted her midnights nearly as much as his face.
“I…I don’t know.” The memory would bleed Narissa’s heart until it failed to beat. Her chest ached, and she took a steady breath, fearful that Solarius would sense her dread. “I always assumed it was because he got what he wanted and saw no use for me anymore.”
Reif arched one brow, the corner of his mouth quirking. “So, you never asked?”
Shame filled her. It wasn’t as though she never thought about asking Solarius why he left her, because she had, many times. But the truth of the matter was that she was terrified of the answer. She didn’t want to know if he’d grown tired of her, if he didn’t want her, or worse, if he’d found someone else. To protect her heart, she’d channeled that fear into anger, which had morphed into a twisted loathing.
“Do you think you’re undeserving of an answer?” Reif pressed.
Narissa lifted her chin. “Of course not.”
