“You’re so hot inside; it’ll probably scorch my dick.”
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth. I wanted… “Fuck me, Daddy.”
“With pleasure.” He pressed the top against my hole and pushed, working it in. Once we got that out of the way, he fucked me. But then he grabbed onto the swing and started moving me.
Back and forth, swinging to fuck me on his cock. And it felt good. But.
But.
The room started spinning and the sides of the swing rubbed my bare skin. I couldn’t breathe. “Cr-Crow…” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling heat in my cheeks. Then I remembered. “R-Red. Red.”
Crow stopped immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you okay, Skyler?”
“No. No. Get me out of this.” I was almost in tears, overwhelmed, and I couldn’t even say why.
Crow moved quickly, unhooking all the cuffs and practically pulling me out of the contraption, holding me tight. “What do you need?”
“Air. I can’t breathe.”
“Shit. You’re having a panic attack.” He carried me to the bed and sat me on the mattress with my back against the headboard. “Put your head between your knees.”
I did what he said, but I didn’t know if it would help. I’d never had a panic attack. I didn’t know what to do. Crow rubbed my shoulder and murmured softly to me, although I didn’t focus on what he was saying. I breathed in and out deeply. Until my heart stopped all that ping-ponging around my chest. I leaned back, and Crow handed me a bottle of water. I had no clue where or when he’d picked it up, but I was thankful and took a long drink.
His brows were pinched above his long nose, and he looked so worried. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“No. Nothing to be sorry about. I’m glad you remembered your word.”
“Me too.” We stared at each other. He looked as vulnerable as I felt, and I didn’t know which I hated more. “I don’t know what happened. It was good. Then all of a sudden it wasn’t.”
“Okay. Well. That’s fine. No swing.”
“That doesn’t mean no Afterglow. I like coming here with you. But…” I waved at that thing in the center of the room. But it wasn’t what I hated. I started rambling. “There’s something here, Crow. I like you. I mean, way more than anyone. Like ever. I’m falling so hard. But it’s not, you know? It’s still shaky. And I don’t know where we stand or where we’re going, and half the time I can’t get out of my head, but in there in that…” I stuck my hand out. “My brain stopped. I wasn’t thinking. Only feeling. And something tripped in my head, like I can’t do that. How can I do that? I…I trusted you, Crow. I didn’t trust me. Does any of this make any sense?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? That’s all you have to say?” I wanted to scream. To run.
But Crow climbed up on the bed and sat cross-legged in front of me. “I’m trying to understand, but that was a lot to unpack.” He blew out a long breath. “First, maybe we need to talk aboutour relationship more. And I know I’m not good at that, so you have my permission to force that on me.” His smile was so cute and smug. I couldn’t be mad at him. “Second, I think I pushed too fast for this.” He nodded his head behind him to indicate the swing, the club, or something.
“I want to do this with you.”
“I know. I want that too, but we can go slower. I mean, the possibilities are endless. And I can refrain from springing surprises like that on you.”
“Yeah. I think if I had time to get used to the idea, it might have been better.”
“But maybe you need to talk to someone. A sub or something, because I think you reacted when you were slipping into sub space.”
“What’s that?”
“Fuck. I really have made a mess of this. I’m a pretty good daddy, Skyler, but maybe not this side of it. You definitely need to talk to someone.”
“Okay, but not that purple-haired dude.”
He laughed and pulled me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head. “How about we go home and make slow, passionate love?”
“Home?”
