31
BARRETT
Icouldn't move—couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t think past the numb haze holding me in its clutches.
Something heavy held me down, anchoring me in a way that prevented the slightest movement...or had I simply lost use of my body? As I opened my eyes I found I could not even see the sky. Or were my eyes actually still closed? I tried to move, only to be greeted by splintering pain, agony shattering through me, fracturing every inch of my body like chips of glass. My body went limp, bending to the pain.
What had happened?
Where was I?
The air was foul, stinking of blood and rot and...something else I couldn’t place. Death? Voices called out inaudibly, speaking words I could not discern. No matter how much I tried, I remained where I was, limbs useless, body leaden. So, I let the creeping darkness win. It felt oddly relieving to give into it, to let it ultimately sweep me away to whatever awaited me in its depths.
“Barrett!”
My body grew heavier, a weightless sleep pulling me into its embrace, and fuck, I wanted to give in to it so badly. I’d fought for so long. Something tugged in my chest, though, something deep, deep down in the recesses of my soul begging me to stay. But the thread was thin, fraying...
Threatening to break.
“Barrett! Answer us!”
A different voice called me that time, one full of fear and something I couldn’t place. It was a voice that lifted my soul and grounded it all at once, one I wanted to hear more of, let it fill my ears every waking moment of every day. I didn’t deserve it, yet I craved it more than life itself.
I forced my eyes open, forced my body to move—to do anything. My voice was hoarse as I called back, searching for them as they were me. I wasn't sure if words actually left my lips or if I’d imagined them.
They didn’t respond, and I began to wonder if I’d imagined them calling to me all together. Perhaps this was it; perhaps this was where it ended, my mind conjuring voices of those I cared for most, wishful thinking that they needed me as much as I needed them—to offer me comfort so I wasn’t alone in my final moments.
If this was the end, so be it. I only hoped Lucia was all right, that Micah and Damien had made it through everything.
Thalia.
The weak flames within me flickered at the thought of her name before falling silent again, as if they were trying to reach up once more just for her. Fuck, I wanted to see her again, wanted to hear her yell and scold me for something stupid, wanted to make a shitty comment just to see her cheeks redden and hear her sharp tongue.
“Barrett!”
The weight was lifted off me and I managed to lift my lids just enough to see it was a body. No, not one. It had been multiple bodies pinning me down, their unseeing gazes staring into nothing, their skin pale and painted with blood—both black and red.
“Oh, gods. Damien! Lucia! He’s over here!” she shouted, and my vision cleared barely enough to find her staring down at me with wide eyes. They were like storm clouds. I hadn’t been able to get them out of my head since I’d first seen them.
“Barrett,” she said as she leaned over me. There was something wrong with her eyes. They were red, swollen.
She shouldn’t be crying, I never wanted to see her cry. I’d stayed away so she could be happy…with Micah. She was his, and I’d accepted it. Despite my acceptance, despite how much I had fought to keep her at a distance, I hadn’t been able to shake her from my mind, every interaction only drawing me to her more, every spoken word, every look exchanged solidifying her presence in my chest. Regardless of whether it was the mating bond or not, she hadchosenhim—lovedhim—and I refused to take her from him, to cut into the joy she felt at his side. She was happy with him.
So why was she crying over me?
I tried to lift my hand to wipe away a stray tear as it rolled down her cheek, but I couldn’t move.
“It’s going to be all right,” she said, and I couldn’t understand why she said it. “I’ve got you.”
Stop crying. I can’t take it.
Lucia and Damien appeared at my side, and Lucia fell to her knees, her hands shooting out to my stomach. Darkness danced at the edges of my vision, and my eyes grew heavier by the second.
If I could just...let them rest...for a moment.
“Thalia, keep talking to him,” Lucia instructed, her voice full of urgency. “Damien, I need you to pull it out. The second you do, he’s going to bleed out, and I have to start healing him immediately.”
