He blinked, as if surprised I was willing to give him a day off, that I was allowing him to disregard his duties for the sake of a holiday. I deserved that look, deserved everything he threw at me with each moment of his avoidance, spite, resentment. I’d done this to myself, made myself out to be the cold cruel creature he knew me as, despite what it cost me.
“You may return to your celebration. I won’t keep you from your mate,” I said, turning to return to my room. To my oblivion.
“Wait.”
I stiffened and turned to look back at him over my shoulder, his foot planted on the bottom step, as if he were about to follow me.
“I... uh,” His eyes left mine briefly, and he shifted on his feet. “I thought I’d bring you something. A gift.”
My brows furrowed as I turned to him fully, and he made his way up the steps, a bundle of linen fabric in his hands. A gift?
“I know how much you enjoyed them when my mother made them,” he said, and my heart plummeted as the scent of chaza berries grew stronger—rich and decadent. He pulled back the cloth to reveal the small pastry, rich burgundy filling nestled within a flaky crust.
My lips parted, but I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t seen the fruit, let alone tasted it in centuries.
“Happy Solstice,” he said, albeit reluctantly. His lips didn’t curve into a smile. His eyes didn’t light up as they used to when he was young, but deep within his warm silver eyes there was a hint of something. Hope? Hope that the goddess who had once been so close to him might still linger somewhere deep within me.
I hesitated but took the pastry. “Thank you.”
He took a step back, his hands awkwardly falling to his side.
“You made this?” I asked.
“Cas did.” His eyes briefly flickered to mine before slipping away.
Cas.It felt strange to hear the name. No matter what face she took, no matter what name she returned to me with, she would always be Moira. A child of fate.Mychild of fate.
“Thank you,” I said once more, and he nodded before turning to walk away. My gaze followed him to the entrance, shadows at his feet as he left, returning to his mate. His family.
His happiness.
“I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through...” I whispered as he vanished, and something twisted in my chest. My knees quivered, and the crushing loneliness of my temple returned in his wake as I fell to the marble floor.
“I hope you can forgive me for what you will likely face,” I said, able to speak freely in his absence. “Fates watch over you for what you will have to suffer for my mistakes. All for giving into my selfish desires.”
My vision blurred as I lowered my eyes to the pastry, and the memories danced through my thoughts like falling stars, the face of one of my dearest friends—her smile and laugher cascading across my mind before dying out. The memories were both my haven and my hell.
“I hope you can forgive me for what I subjected your son to, Carissa. For what my selfish actions cost you in the end,” I whispered, something building in the back of my throat. “I hope you and Marius found peace in Elysium, that you watch over them.”
The empty space pressed in on the walls of my mind, and sobs broke from my throat, milky tears rolling down my cheeks before dripping onto the silk of my gown.
“I’m so sorry for everything.”
