“Yes, this again.” She hands me the bowl of guacamole and pulls out a bag of tortilla chips from her grocery sack. Then she heads to the couch and settles on one side, a clear sign she’s not leaving. “I’m worried about you, Neesha. If you don’t learn to get out of your apartment every once in a while, you’re going to rot in here.”
“That’s not true,” I argue, sitting next to her. “Idohave fun. I’ve made couch rotting a whole art form.”
She opens the bag of chips and hands me one. “Name the last time you did something just because it made you happy—not because it was practical or made money or was safe for your heart. Just for fun.”
I look around the room, searching for one example. Henry raises his head lazily from his dog bed, tail giving a single thump as if he senses I’m thinking about him. “I take walks with Henry.”
“That’s your only example of fun?”
“Well, yes,” I say, hesitating. “What’s wrong with that?”
“What’s wrong,” she continues, “is that Henry is your entiresocial life. And that’s why I think you should take Lucian up on his offer.”
“I only told you about that so you’d fix the storage room door,” I remind her.
“Please. You practically had cartoon hearts in your eyes when you recounted the story.” She scoops a chip in guacamole. “But that’s not the point. The point is: when’s the last time a man made you forget how to form complete sentences?”
“I can form sentences just fine, thank you very much.”
“‘Hi-ho’?” She gives me a look. “Mabel told me your opening line to Lucian.”
I throw a couch pillow at her, which she dodges easily. “A practice date with the man next door is a terrible idea.”
“Why would you avoid dating Lucian? Because you might enjoy yourself?” She gives me a pointed look before taking a sip of her cider. “What are you really afraid of?”
I look down at my glass, swirling the dark liquid. “What if it goes so well that I start to feel something for him?” I ask quietly. “I’m still leaving. He’s just starting his life here. And I don’t want a relationship yet. Nothing changes that. Future Neesha will thank me for not getting her emotionally entangled in a relationship that can’t happen and will only end in heartbreak. We’re like two ships passing in the night, so we might as well just wave and accept that it’s not meant to be.”
“Or,” she says, holding up a finger. “You go out once and have fun. You find out what it’s like to date a good man who treats you well. Why would Future Neesha regret that?”
“When she has to leave, she might.” I take a long swallow of cider. “It’s a hard no. I’m still reeling from Mom’s death. After Nate, I promised myself I’d never postpone my future for a man.”
“Neesha, Lucian’s just offering you something comfortable. A date without pressure. Believe me, he’s one of the good ones.” She grabs another chip and points it at me. “And if he hurts you, I’ll have Dawson deal with him.”
“Ha,” I laugh. “Dawson’s too nice to hurt anyone. It’syouI’m worried about.”
She gives me a sheepish smile. “Okay, you might be right. But I wouldn’t suggest this unless I knew he was safe for you.”
Safe.The word quiets the low buzz of anxiety I’ve been carrying. I need someone who understands that grief and trauma don’t vanish overnight. Someone who won’t see me as broken, but will still treat me with care while giving me room to be fully myself. A man who respects my boundaries, understanding my need for space and independence, but who also loves me for my strength.
Because I know I’m not broken. What I’ve been through might have made me more defensive about how I protect my heart, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. And that’s what I want most—to be seen as whole, loved for all the pieces that make up who I am, the broken and the beautiful.
“What would we even do together?” I wonder aloud.
“Oh, I can think of a lot of things,” Emmy says with a smirk before dipping another chip in the guacamole. “Maple Fest is coming up. It’s the perfect low-pressure setting.”
“Sure—an entire town watching me make my dating comeback,” I point out.
“It’s not like they aren’t rooting for you. This would prove to everyone that you’re over Nate. Plus, didn’t that grant application ask about community involvement? Being seen at the town’s biggest event would definitely count.”
“I told Mabel I wasn’t applying, remember?”
“I know, but you could always change your mind.” She shrugs. “Besides, I heard from Mimi that Lucian’s never been to our festival before. He could probably use a local guide to show him around. And Mimi already told me she wants you to be his guide.”
“Me? Why?”
“Because even Mimi knows she gets out more than you do. And that’s pretty sad for someone who’s twenty-eight.”
I narrow my eyes. “You’re too good at this.”
