‘Oh God.’ The words slipped from Eden’s lips, but she was already moving towards resus, ready to play her part. This kind of situation was when the A&E staff came into their own, a well-practised team who knew their roles and were ready to deliver the best possible care whatever they might face. Eden couldn’t allow herself to think too much about the boy or his loved ones, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to do her job. For now she had to think of him as a patient, someone who needed her help and she couldn’t allow her feelings to get in the way of that. There’d be time enough for that later. Right now she had a job to do and like every single member of the team, she was determined to give it everything she had.
* * *
As soon as the paramedics rushed Callum Sinclair through to resus, it was apparent that the chances of saving the teenager’s life were extremely slim. He was still in his rugby kit, his physique like an advert for physical health, as if running a marathon wouldn’t have been beyond him. But the rest of Callum’s appearance gave away just how serious his condition was. His lips were tinged with blue and his face beneath the oxygen mask looked grey. He was only a boy and Eden’s heart was aching even before she heard the sound of someone wailing just beyond the doors that led into resus. Zahir, Esther and Aidan were continuing the resuscitation attempts and Eden felt useless. There were only so many people who could work on a patient at the same time, but she wanted to be there if one of the others had to step back to rest.
‘That’s his mother.’ Jeff, one of the paramedics, looked close to tears himself as he turned and spoke to Eve. ‘She was there to watch the match and she’s in pieces. Her husband’s on his way, but I think she needs someone with her in the meantime, or at least to give her an update.’
‘I don’t think I can.’ Eve took in a couple of gulping breaths and widened her eyes. It almost looked like the start of a panic attack, but then she managed to gain control, fixing her gaze on Eden. ‘Would you be okay to go and talk to her? I can stay here in case… in case…’
She couldn’t finish the sentence and Eden knew there was something going on with Eve. She wasn’t entirely sure her friend would be capable of stepping in to help out with resuscitation if the need arose, but what was crystal clear was that she wouldn’t be able to do anything to support Callum’s mother when she was clearly struggling so much herself.
‘Of course. Do you know her name, Jeff?’
‘It’s Rachael.’ Jeff swallowed hard as he looked at her. ‘He’s not going to make it, is he? I should leave him now that he’s here, but I just need to know. He’s the same age as my son and I keep thinking that could be Finn lying there. How can that just happen?’
‘It’s not fair.’ Eden hugged him for just a moment; she couldn’t hear Callum’s mother sobbing any more, but the pull to be there for her was overwhelming, this other mother whose pain she could already feel. She couldn’t do anything for Callum while her colleagues fought for his life, but Rachael needed someone and Eden wanted it to be her.
Coming out of resus, she couldn’t see Callum’s mother at first, but then she spotted Isla.
‘Have you seen the woman who was out here crying? Her son’s in resus.’
‘One of the agency HCAs took her to the relatives’ room.’ Isla bit her lip. ‘It’s heartbreaking. Is there any update?’
‘Not yet, but I want to see if I can do anything to help. Although God knows what.’
‘Sometimes just being there is all you can do.’
‘It just doesn’t seem enough, does it?’ Eden tried to smile at Isla, but her face refused to comply. Instead she raised a hand in thanks and moved off towards the relatives’ room, her mouth suddenly feeling as if it was full of sawdust. She just hoped she could find the words when she got there, but she already knew what Callum’s mother was going to ask, and there was no way she’d be able to provide the response Rachael wanted so desperately to hear.
Standing outside for a moment, Eden placed her hand against the door and looked through the pane of glass. A woman with ash blonde hair had her head in her hands and another woman, who was wearing a health care assistant’s uniform, was sitting opposite her. Neither of them were speaking from what Eden could see. Pushing open the door, she introduced herself, trying to keep her tone even and her voice from shaking.
‘I’m Eden, one of the A&E nurses. You’re Rachael, aren’t you, Callum’s mum?’
The woman’s head shot up in response. ‘Is he okay? Please tell me he’s okay!’
‘The team are with him now. They’re the best doctors and nurses I’ve ever worked with and they all want to help Callum.’ Eden had rehearsed what she was going to say, as she’d walked towards the room. Rachael had asked the question she’d known she would, because of course that was all she cared about, that her boy was okay.
‘I just don’t understand how it could happen. He was running for a try, like he does all the time, and all of the St Barts crowd were cheering. Then he just dropped to the ground.’ Rachael’s face was streaked with tears as she looked up at Eden, a look of utter desolation in her eyes. ‘How can he go from that to just not breathing? I’ve worried about him getting an injury playing rugby before, being badly hurt in a tackle, but never something like this. I’m so scared they’re going to give up on him; I thought the paramedics were going to do that before they even brought him in.’
‘I can’t imagine how terrifying it was to see him like that, but I promise you that Callum is getting the best care possible and no one will give up on him.’ Sitting down beside Rachael, Eden took her hand. She could have added wordsuntil they’re certain there’s no hopeto the end of her sentence, but she didn’t. There’d come a point when the team might stop trying to bring Callum back, but it wouldn’t be because they’d given up on him. Eden had been with patients when the team had been forced to ‘call it’, making the decision that continuing to try to save the patient’s life was futile. It was always a painful and difficult decision, but it would be even more so with a young person like Callum. All she could do was pray that in resus a miracle was happening, and that someone would walk along the corridor soon and say the words that Rachael wanted with every fibre of her being to hear.
‘Thank you.’ Callum’s mother gripped her hand and for a moment the only sound was the clock ticking above their heads.
‘Should I stay?’ The health care assistant looked up at Eden. The young woman’s leg was jigging constantly and it was clear she was finding the situation difficult. Sickness, and a more general shortfall in staffing, meant the team had been forced to rely on agency staff far too often lately. It made a difficult job even more challenging, when those staff were unfamiliar with how the team worked and often quite inexperienced too. The young woman opposite Eden barely appeared to be out of her teens, and she looked as if she’d love to make a bolt for it. Giving her permission to leave was an easy decision to make, because Eden was certain she could be of more use elsewhere.
‘You can go. I’ll stay with Rachael.’ Having a nurse with her experience sitting with a relative might be deemed a waste of resources, and it would mean patients who needed less urgent treatment experiencing a longer wait time, but right now Eden didn’t care as much about that as she did about Rachael. Callum’s mother was in the hospital all by herself, going through the worst possible scenario any parent could ever imagine, and Eden could feel her torment almost as if it was her own. The thought of something ever happening to Teddie had been her greatest fear from the moment he was born. Nothing that his diagnosis could throw at them would ever come close to the sheer terror she’d experienced in those few minutes he’d been missing. The way the nightmares had made her feel in the days since then were just a fraction of what Rachael was going through right now, and Callum’s mother couldn’t wake up from the horror and realise it was all okay.
When the health care assistant left the room, Rachael began to sob again and for a few moments Eden just held her, but then Callum’s mother began to speak.
‘He’s always been sporty, and he was kicking a ball almost from the moment he could walk.’ As she pulled away to look at Eden, her eyes were still full of tears. ‘He discovered rugby when he was about seven and that was it, we knew he’d found his thing. He’s the captain of the school team and he’s got a place to go to uni in Bath, to play there. My husband’s convinced we’ll see him start for England one day.’
‘He sounds incredibly talented, you must be really proud of him.’ Eden wished she could picture Callum, full of life on the pitch, but the way he’d looked when he’d been brought in made that almost impossible.
‘We are. Cal works so hard and he’s such a loving boy. He still gives me hugs like he did when he was little, but he’s almost eight inches taller than me now, and they’re great big bear hugs. I’d give anything to have another one of them.’ A sob escaped from Rachael’s throat, and Eden wished she could tell her that she’d be able to hug her son again, but she had a horrible, heartbreaking feeling that Callum’s mum would never get to do that again and her throat was burning with the effort of stopping herself from crying too. All she could do was try to show Rachael that she understood how precious those moments had been.
‘Hugs between mums and sons are incredibly special, aren’t they? My little boy’s only four, but his hugs are the best thing in the world to me.’
‘I knew you’d understand, I don’t know how but I could just tell.’ Rachael gave her the briefest of smiles through her tears. Before Eden could even reply, the door to the relatives’ room burst open, making her heart lurch in response. She’d expected to look up and see one of the team standing there, a grave expression on their face, but it was a man she didn’t recognise.
