‘It was lovely to meet Benji, he’s great.’ Eden smiled as she spoke, and Drew mirrored her expression.
‘He is, isn’t he? I always say he’s like sunshine in human form. I wish I had half that joie de vivre.’
‘Me too.’
‘I think you’ve got plenty of joie de vivre. I always feel happier when I’m around you.’ Drew widened his eyes, as if he realised he’d said too much and wished he could take it back, but his honesty was so refreshing. After all those years of barely being able to recognise what the truth was with Jesse, it was so nice to know that Drew meant what he said. She’d taken his comment as a huge compliment, and she loved the idea that she made Drew happier, because he made her happier too. She still didn’t know if that meant they’d only ever be friends, but even if that was their destiny, she was incredibly grateful she had him in her life. She couldn’t stop herself from hoping that it might be something more, but the ball was in his court and, even if she had wanted to test the waters again, now wasn’t the right time.
‘I think that might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.’ Eden touched his arm, wishing they were alone again, on the beach at nightfall, where all their inhibitions could had been obscured by the darkness. Maybe then she would have been ready to risk putting herself on the line and kissing him for a second time. She had a feeling she’d know how he really felt then, even if Drew still couldn’t put it into words, but the light hadn’t faded yet and they were surrounded by people, some of whom would be watching their every move. So she dropped her hand and maintained her distance, changing the subject back to something far more neutral. ‘Do you know Benji from volunteering?’
‘Yes, he goes to the day centre run by the Three Ports Autism Trust.’ Drew smiled again. ‘I could be having the worst day I’ve ever had, but if I see Benji suddenly everything’s okay again.’
‘I can imagine, he seems so happy.’ Eden couldn’t stop the shuddering sigh escaping from her lips. A familiar sensation of fear creeping up her spine. ‘That’s all I want for Teddie. I just want him to be happy, but sometimes I’m so scared of what the future might bring and of other people being unkind to him, especially when I’m not around to protect him.’
‘I understand why that might scare you, but he’ll be okay because you’ll fight his corner for him whenever he needs you to. I’m not saying you can protect him from everything, but he will be happy. You’ll make sure of it.’ Drew’s response was so resolute, it made it easier to believe. Eden’s greatest fear, far beyond how Teddie’s diagnosis might affect her own life, was that it might impact upon his happiness and she meant what she said: all she wanted was for her little boy to be happy.
‘Thank you.’ Eden wanted to reach out more than ever, but she curled her hand into a ball instead. ‘I’m going to get my parents a drink; one of Gwen’s volunteers has come up with some interesting sounding cocktails and mocktails. Can I get you one?’
‘I’ll get them.’
‘No, you won’t!’ He laughed at the look of determination of Eden’s face, and held up his hands.
‘Okay, okay, at least let me help you.’
‘I’ll allow that.’ She smiled and they walked the rest of the way to the bar together. Less than ten minutes later, they were heading back towards Karen and Dave with four of the nojito mocktails, the smell of mint and lime mingling in the air. There were still a few minutes until the final dance performance, and Karen was deep in conversation with Gwen, but her father and son were nowhere to be seen. No doubt Teddie had got fed up with the climbing on the straw bales and her father had probably taken him off in his buggy to make sure he didn’t get agitated.
‘Here’s your nojito, they smell delicious.’ Eden handed her mother the drink. It was in a proper cocktail glass, even if it was made from plastic. ‘These were a great idea Gwen, do you want me to get you one?’
‘Thank you, lovely girl, but I think I better wait until after the final dance, otherwise I might need to stop for a comfort break halfway through. I need to go and round up the others now too.’ Gwen blew Eden a kiss, before heading off.
‘She really is an amazing woman.’ Karen turned toward Eden, after Gwen walked away. ‘I’m definitely signing up for one of her classes.’
‘I think it’s a great idea.’ Eden was glad to hear her mother’s plans; joining Gwen’s dance troupe would be far healthier than spending hours online. ‘Where’s Dad?’
‘He needed to go to the toilet, but he said he’d rather nip home than use one of the portaloos.’ Karen shrugged. Her parents lived opposite the hospital, and the fair was being held in one of the fields behind St Piran’s.
‘Where’s Teddie?’ Even as Eden asked the question her blood seemed to cool in her veins. There was no reason for her father to take Teddie home with him. Her son was still in nappies, and it wasn’t as if Teddie could have asked to go to the toilet. Despite the fear already making goose pimples crop up on her skin, every part of her was willing her mother to tell her that Teddie was with her father. But even before Karen spoke, she knew with a crushing sense of horror what was coming.
‘He’s over there on the straw bales.’ Her mother’s eyes widened when she turned to look and realised there was no sign of her grandson in the place she’d last seen him. Eden’s stomach lurched as a wave of nausea washed over her.
‘Oh my God, Teddie!’ The drinks she was holding slipped out of her hands. There was no build up to the panic; the desperation to find him and the sheer terror of not being able to, rose up in an instant, yet Eden couldn’t move. She was frozen with fear.
‘When did you last see him, Karen?’ Drew’s voice was urgent, but somehow still calm. When Eden’s mother didn’t answer immediately, he took hold of her by the shoulders. Not roughly, but firmly enough to get her to focus. ‘It’s really important.’
‘A minute ago at the most. I just turned away to talk to Gwen. I can’t believe he went so quickly, no one could expect that to happen.’ Karen was visibly trembling, but Eden wanted to shake her even harder, and shout at her for turning her back on her grandson, even for a moment, but she still couldn’t move or even speak. She was terrified that if she did it would make his disappearance real. There was a chance that if she didn’t react, she’d look again and he’d suddenly appear, from behind one of the straw bales, because the alternative was too awful to think about.
‘He can’t have got far. You go towards the tombola in case he saw you over there and went looking for you.’ Drew put his hand in the small of Eden’s back, forcing her forward and out of her reverie. ‘I’ll go to the other side of the fair, and Karen can get an alert put out on the loud speaker in case Teddie is mixed in with the crowd, and no one realises he’s actually on his own.’
‘He can’t be lost.’ A sob caught in Eden’s throat as the realisation hit her that it was the only way to describe her son’s whereabouts. Nausea rose up again inside her making her stomach roil so violently that for a moment she thought she was going to throw up. Her little boy, her baby, who couldn’t utter a word to anyone even if they tried to help him, was out there alone. Her breath started to come in shuddering rasps. Then Drew grabbed her hand, squeezing it tight.
‘We’ll find him, I promise, but you’ve got to slow down and breathe so we can do what we need to do.’ Squeezing her hand again for the briefest of moments, Drew turned his back on her and moved quickly in the direction he said he’d look. When she turned to move off too, her mother was standing in front of her, her chin trembling with emotion.
‘Eden, I’m so sorry, I?—’
‘Just get the announcement done. Now!’ Eden shouted the words and broke into a run, nausea still lurching in her stomach as she fought to do what Drew had told her to do and keep her breathing steady. Teddie was nowhere to be seen and a series of unbearable scenarios were already racing through her head. All she could do was repeatedly call out his name as she ran in the direction of the tombola stall, tears streaming down her face and the worst sense of dread she’d ever felt in her life making it almost impossible to keep going. If Teddie really was gone, she didn’t even want to try to carry on.
* * *
Drew had told Eden that she needed to stay calm, but the truth was he was struggling not to lose himself to panic too and the thought of Teddie being somewhere on his own made bile rise in his throat. Even worse was the thought that someone might have taken him. The only comfort was that Teddie hadn’t cried out. Drew had seen how the little boy reacted to strangers. He was a beautiful child, with cherubic blond curls and big, blue eyes. People often seemed to think it was okay to reach out to him and touch his hair, just because they wanted to. He’d seen Teddie cry on several occasions, when an over enthusiastic stranger got too close to him. It was almost impossible to believe that someone he didn’t know would have been able to lure him away, much less snatch him, without anyone hearing Teddie offer up a cacophony of protests. Almost impossible wasn’t enough though. Drew had to know for certain that he was safe, and it felt as if his heart was beating out of his chest as he ran between the stalls, desperately hoping to catch sight of the little boy who had come to mean more to him in such a short time than he’d ever dreamt possible.
