‘I need you to push your sleeve up please, Mei, and rest your arm on the desk, with your palm facing up to the ceiling, then close your eyes and tell me when you can feel me touching your arm.’
Mei did as she’d been instructed and Eden had to press harder than she would have expected before Mei responded.
‘I can feel that, but only lightly.’
‘Okay, you can open your eyes now. I just want to see what your balance is like when you’re standing.’
Mei stood up.
‘Great.’ Eden was still conscious of the need to sound upbeat and hopeful. She didn’t know what this was, but she knew that Mei was scared. Eden might not be qualified to treat whatever condition her patient was ultimately diagnosed with, but she could do her best to comfort and reassure her in the meantime. ‘Okay, Mei, if you can try just standing on one leg for me.’
‘Oh!’ Mei reached out and grabbed the side of the desk to steady herself, as she lurched to one side. When she sat down again she knotted her hands together, almost as if she was praying.
‘I can see it’s affecting your balance. I’m going to speak to one of the doctors now and let them know what we’ve discussed, so they can work out what other tests you might need to help us get to the bottom of this.’
‘It’s motor neurone disease, isn’t it?’ Before the words were even out of Mei’s mouth she was crying again, tears rolling down her face this time.
‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Eden was ignoring hospital protocols again. She didn’t care what they said about using terms of endearment. Sometimes people needed to feel like they were more than just a patient, to believe that the staff looking after them cared on a deeper level. Using terms like that, with the right patients in the right situations really could help, Eden was certain of it. ‘I know it must be terrifying not being sure what this is, but when you look your symptoms up online it’s always the most serious ones that show up in the search. This could be so many things and the vast majority of them aren’t anywhere near as serious as motor neurone disease.’
‘I know, but my paternal grandmother died from it last year.’ Another tear rolled off Mei’s face and plopped onto her trouser leg, leaving a darker stain where it had landed.
‘I’m really sorry to hear that.’ Eden swallowed against the bubble of concern rising in her own throat. Her first job after qualifying had been on a neurological ward, and she knew there could be a genetic link with MND, but she also knew that was only true for a relatively small number of cases. Either way, statistics couldn’t comfort Mei, the only thing that would ease her fears right now was certainty, and that was something Eden couldn’t give her. She wished she could promise Mei that she didn’t have the same disease as her grandmother, but all she could do for now was try to give her hope.
‘MND would be very rare in someone of your age, but I understand why you’re so worried. I’m going to ask some of my colleagues, who know a lot more about this kind of thing than I do, to come and talk to you and organise whatever tests you might need.’ Eden reached out and took Mei’s hand again. The young woman’s face was wet with tears, and she hated the thought of her facing whatever might be to come on her own. ‘Is there someone you can call to come in and be with you? There could be a bit of a wait if you’re going to be sent down for scans and you might feel better if you’ve got someone to talk to.’
‘I didn’t want to tell my parents I was coming in. Losing my grandmother hit them both so hard, if they think there’s even a chance…’ Mei couldn’t finish the sentence, but she didn’t need to. Eden knew how terrified she’d be if she thought Teddie was facing a life-threatening diagnosis, but there was something else she knew too.
‘If you were my child, I’d want to be there, no matter what.’ She was probably overstepping the mark again, but she couldn’t help it.
Mei nodded slowly. ‘Can I use my mobile phone in here?’
‘Of course you can.’ Eden released her hand. ‘I’m going to speak to one of the doctors, if you want to make the call while I’m gone. Then I’ll be straight back to let you know what’s happening.’
‘Thank you.’ Mei gave her a watery smile. ‘You’ve been so kind.’
‘I won’t be long.’ Eden needed to leave before the words she was so desperate to say came out of her mouth. She wanted to tell Mei it was all going to be okay, but she couldn’t know that for sure and lying to her patient was one protocol she definitely didn’t want to break.
* * *
Eden hadn’t been able to get Mei off her mind for the rest of the shift. Her mother, Xiang, had arrived within half an hour of her daughter’s call, and by then one of the team from neurology was already with her, outlining the series of tests she would need to determine what was causing her issues. It wasn’t going to be a quick diagnosis and not even a consultant neurologist could promise Mei straight away that she didn’t have the same disease that had killed her grandmother. There’d be MRI scans, blood tests, and possibly a lumbar puncture before they’d have the answers. It was going to be a scary wait for the outcome, and Eden was just glad Mei had her mother by her side. For a good chunk of her life, Eden hadn’t had that kind of support. Karen’s alcoholism wasn’t something she could ever have imagined when she was a small child. Karen had been a doting mother, until the loss of both of her own parents in quick succession had seen her turn to alcohol in an attempt to numb her grief. It had quickly escalated into an addiction that had seen Eden’s mother putting her own life, and the lives of her children at risk. Vodka had been her go-to drink, because it was the easiest to disguise, but if she was desperate she’d drink almost anything. Eden’s father had enabled it by covering up for Karen even after she’d crashed the car with both children as passengers. Despite the fact that she was still a child, it had felt as if she and Felix were the only ones who could rescue their mother from what would almost certainly kill her in the end. It shouldn’t have been their responsibility – itwasn’ttheir responsibility – but it had still fallen to them to seek out the help that had eventually put their mother on the path to recovery. When Eden was sixteen and Felix was eighteen, and finally confident that they wouldn’t be taken into care, they’d gone to their mother’s GP together to report their concerns, and a referral had been made to a social worker. It had still taken another seven years of attempts by Karen to quit drinking, followed by relapses back into her addiction, before she’d eventually stopped for good.
Thankfully Mei seemed to have a far more conventional relationship with her mother and she’d seemed a lot calmer by the time Eden had last seen her. It had been a tough shift all the same, and when Meg had said she’d ordered in end-of-shift doughnuts to be delivered fromAmericana, Eden hadn’t needed a lot of persuading to join the others in the staff room. Her parents had taken Teddie swimming again, so there was nothing to rush home for.
‘I can’t believe you’ve barely got back from being off for ages with your broken ankle, and now we’ve got your going-away party next Saturday.’ Isla was pretending to berate Amy, as Eden walked into the staff room, just ahead of Eve. Meg was already there too.
‘Remind me who it was that disappeared to Australia and New Zealand for months on end, not caring about leaving the rest of us behind in the emergency department?’ Amy wagged a finger at her best friend. ‘Anyway, it’s not a farewell party, it’s bon voyage. I’ll be back.’
‘Oh of course you will,’ Eden interjected. ‘I mean who wouldn’t want to leave behind a rock and roll lifestyle to deal with belligerent binge drinkers in A&E on a Saturday night.’
‘Eden’s right.’ Eve nodded. ‘If something’s going to get thrown when you’re in the vicinity, surely you’d much rather it was underwear being flung at the stage, than a chair being chucked at your head?’
‘The size of my knickers, it could be a close-run thing.’ Amy grinned, before putting on her best schoolteacher voice. ‘And surely Dr Bellingham, Nurse Grainger, you’re not suggesting there’s a life preferable to one in A&E.’
‘Of course not.’ Eve shook her head, an expression of mock outrage on her face. ‘What could possibly be better than cleaning up vomit and dealing with people who think they’re entitled to behave however they like.’
‘You do know what a rock star lifestyle looks like, don’t you?’ Meg pulled back the lid on the box of doughnuts. ‘I think there’s plenty of entitled behaviour and intoxication involved. You might not get drunks trying to throw chairs, but you could see a TV or two hurled out of the window. All rock stars are divas.’
‘Not Lijah.’ Amy and Isla said the same words at the same time, making them both laugh.
