“What?” I ask.
“We need to speak the wish. And mean it.” With longing in his voice, he utters, “I wish for one mortal life. To be alive, truly alive, in this time and only this time. Please.”
I feel my throat go dry. Imagine him making the opposite wish one hundred and thirty years ago in this very room. My beautiful Bram, Shams, Shahriar. How he’s changed. I swallow hard before repeating, “I wish for one mortal life. To be alive, truly alive, in this time and only this time. Please.”
And so we drink.
At first, nothing happens.
“I don’t think it worked,” Bram says. “I’m sorry, Oliver. I wanted you to be free of this at last. All I want is—”
“Bram!” It happens suddenly. His eyes. They don’t glow any longer. They’re just brown. Not feline. “Your eyes” is all I manage to say.
Bram blinks rapidly. “I feel different,” he says. He gazes into my eyes and gasps. “Your beautiful eyes!”
Something in us has changed. I feel it in my bones. In the beating of my heart. We’re still seventeen, but not for long. We’re not immortal anymore.
“It’s over, isn’t it?” I ask.
I smile as mortality floods my body. All this time. These years and years and more years. This century of loneliness, with brief bursts of love and happiness and music, like sunlight in a perpetually cloudy sky.
This feels like clouds parting.
Like a big bang.
Like being born anew.
Tears flood my eyes. Water flows down my face. Heals me.
“It’s a new beginning,” I say.
He says, “It’s our chance to finally get it right.”
He takes me in his arms and kisses me. I let myself get lost in time. We’re by the Charles River. We’re in Provincetown. We’re dancing at the Blitz. At Pearl’s. We’re here and there and everywhere. We’re then and now. We both feel it, our past and our future spinning in this very moment. We’re us, but we’re also all the young lovers. All the ones who came before and all the ones who will come after. We’re princes who got their fairy-tale ending. Except it’s not an ending. It’s just a moment, like all the other moments, and inthe moment is joy and pain, connection and loneliness, and the acceptance that someday there will be an end to our story, and the beginning of another story. How beautiful that is. How beautiful we are, we flawed humans who have the privilege of choosing each other, of bestowing our love on each other.
As we leave, Bram takes one last look at the suite where his life now changed twice. I see a small red light in the corner of the ceiling.Strange, I think. But then I tell myself it’s some sort of fire alarm. Security mechanism. Modern technology.
We run to the Thames. We make it in time to see Maud, Archie, Azalea, Poppy, and Blossom throw Lily’s ashes into the river. We watch as Lily becomes one with the water. Tobi leaves us to rejoin them. They’re his family now. Not ours any longer. Our life will begin again. Somewhere new. Until it ends and life leaves us in peace.
“Should we try to see Maud and Archie before we leave?” Bram asks.
“I don’t think so,” I say. “I think we should let them grieve Lily in peace. Without making it all about us.”
“Right.” Bram nods. “I miss them.”
“Me too.”
“I’ve missed you.”
I smile. “Me too.”
“Oliver,” he says quietly. I sense a troubled heart beating in his chest. “I love you,” he declares. Before I can tell him I love him too, he continues. “But I understand if you want to live this mortal life without me. You deserve happiness. Uncomplicated love. Peace. If you want to part ways, I’ll understand. I’ll cheer you on. I’ll—”
“Bram, stop.” I put a hand on his cheek. A single tear from hisright eye falls onto my fingers. “I can’t imagine my life with anyone but you.”
“But—” Another tear. And another. “I ruined your life. I cursed you.”
“I made the wish, didn’t I?” I suddenly realize that all these years, these decades, this century, I’ve blamed Bram. But Iwantedthis. I wished for it with all my heart. Perhaps the magic of the burning page would have been useless had I not craved its promises. “You’re brave. You’re unafraid to dream. You led me toward love and honesty and new horizons. I need you, Bram. I always have. I think in some ways... when I made that wish... what I was truly wishing for was the opportunity to grow old with you without fear.”
