“You okay, man?” Colton stepped away as he spoke and clapped him on the shoulder. “That shit is intense. I can’t imagine if it was hockey fans.”
Nick could. He’d been trapped in that exact hell when he had his first full-blown panic attack. His pulse wasn’t all the way normal but it was getting there, which meant embarrassment was creeping in.
“They should have given you some of that cake to share with your friends as a thank-you for judging,” Jake said, a wide, judgment-free grin on his face.
Nick stared at him. Maisie continued to hold his hand, standing quietly by his side.
“We’re going to take a break and we’ll meet up with you guys after things settle down,” she said.
Jacob looked at his sister and Nick watched his gaze slide to their joined hands. His gaze came up, locked with Nick’s.
“You good?”
Nick gave a curt nod.
Colton grabbed his husband’s hand and tugged. “See you in a bit.”
When they were alone, he let himself lean fully into the wall behind him. Part of him thought Maisie should go too. But he didn’t want her to and squeezed her hand again.
“Thanks. Other than your brother and Colt seeing me like that, I appreciate the assist.”
Maisie turned so her front was once again plastered against his. Nick’s hands settled naturally on her hips.
“Seeing you like what? A human? Someone who got overwhelmed with like fifty people vying for your attention all in the same second while not giving you even an inch of actual breathing room?”
She didn’t let him respond. “Jake has to have his grocery lists categorized by which section of the store everything is in. Colton keeps every receipt for every single thing he buys. A cup of coffee, a pack of gum. Every single thing. Sorry to break it to you but everyone has their issues. You’re not so out there, champ.”
A harsh bark of laughter escaped his chest without warning. “Champ?”
She shrugged, her nose scrunching adorably. “You didn’t like ‘hockey man.’”
“How about Nick?”
Maisie reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair, holding his gaze. “Not bad. It’ll do for now,Nick. It’s not weak to need help or even to get so overwhelmed you lose your focus. I’d say it’s stronger to see those things in yourself and work on them than it is to deny them and pretend they don’t exist.”
Lowering his forehead to hers, he sighed. “Oh yeah? What’s your weakness, Maisie Smart?” He couldn’t stop his hands from roaming and she didn’t seem to mind when one curved over her ass and pulled her tighter against his body. It wasn’t enough.
She sucked in a breath. “Apparently, it’s hockey players who act tough and aloof but underneath that, they’re softies who play with their four-year-old nephew on command, step in for a sick goat, and look good in a reindeer onesie.”
Another laugh. He pushed his free hand up into her hair, tilted her head back. “No one looks good in a onesie. Why the plural? How many hockey players do you know?” And why did he not want her to knowanyother than him.
She smiled, her face inching closer. “Just one.”
“You keep seeing me at my worst, Maisie.”
“Or you keep thinking the worst of yourself because you’re human.” Her lips grazed his. “Either way, I see you. And I like what I see.”
He wanted to tell her he did too but she pressed in, fused her mouth to his, and kissed him in a way that proved her words and sucked him in, pushed the edges of the panic away completely. He had a fleeting thought about their privacy but no one was around and there were too many emotions charging through him at the moment to care.
Maisie made him want to forget everything else but being in her line of sight. He liked the version of himself she saw.
Nick’s fingers tightened in Maisie’s hair, and he focused on the sensation, the feel of her, the way her lips brushed over his, eager and sure, the way her body aligned with his, perfectly, the way her breath hitched as she moved closer into him, until she was practically a partof him. No, he couldn’t control everything but he could let himself fall into the moments that were saving him. Like this one. A low, husky growl—a sound he’d never before heard himself make—left his throat as his hands left her hair and stroked down her body, everywhere he could touch. He couldn’t get enough and that made him feel a different kind of nervous, because he knew better than most how quickly the very thing you wanted could be ripped from your grasp. No matter how tightly you held.
Chapter Fourteen
THE RECIPE SAID IFthe icing was overmixed, it would get stiff, making it harder to use for decorating cookies. She dropped the spoon, startling when it clattered against the counter. Normally, she listened to the recipes so she didn’t mess them up but her mom had decided to be her shadow this evening, and Maisie wasn’t doing that in front of her. Plus, this one was excessively easy but doing anything in front of her mom made her want to do it perfectly.
Her mom continued to talk about a family friend’s very successful son, telling her that he was moving to Seattle and needed a tour guide, making it harder for Maisie to follow along with the instructions. Maisie tossed the spoon in the sink and grabbed a whisk to stir the powdered sugar and milk. She should have just bought packaged icing. Puffs of confectioner’s sugar drifted into her face
