His heart melted and then re-formed stronger than ever, with a new owner. It was Jillian’s. As long ashewas, too, he was okay with that. He opted for one of her hands for now and held it tight, loving the feel of her skin against his in any way he could get it.
“I’ll write you notes every day if you want me to. If you’ll let me.”
Tears filled her gaze. “Levi,” she whispered.
“Just,” he said, surprised by the lump in his throat, the need in his veins, “let me get this out, okay?”
She nodded, her gaze soft, her lips pressed together. For the first time in almost a week, Levi felt like the life he wanted, the life he now imagined, was attainable. It was, literally, within his grasp.
“Actually, I need a minute. I really need to kiss you, Jilly. I feel like part of me is missing without you and I just—”
She leaned in, went up on her tiptoes, cutting off his words. He had a speech all worked out, but he needed this more than words or air. His arms closed around her waist as hers came around his neck, the paper crinkling in her grasp.
Their mouths came together and they both fell into a kiss that pushed away the last of his uncertainty. The way her lips movedagainst his, eager and sure, was proof that they were meant to be together. His hands moved up to cup her face, tilt it so he could kiss her deeper and longer. He could kiss her forever and it wouldn’t come close to quenching his desire for this woman.
When he pulled away, just a little, so he could see her face, she was breathing every bit as hard as he was. Her lips were red from his mouth, her cheeks painted with a soft blush that made him smile. Her eyes were hooded and sparkling with something so much more than like or lust.
“I didn’t break your face,” she whispered.
He laughed, hugged her tighter. “No.” When he leaned away, he ran a hand over his chin. “Not then and not now. Even if you had, it would have been worth it. You’re worth it, Jilly. You’re everything. I’m so in love with you, I can’t breathe without you. I know I said things that hurt you. I was shocked and crushed and I didn’t handle it well. You’re an amazing mother and a beautiful person inside and out. I need you, Jillian. In my life, by my side. I want to be a family; you and me and Ollie. Forever. When it’s easy, when it’s hard, no matter what.”
He caught her tears with his thumbs. “I think, in the most innocent of ways, you really were my first love,” he told her, the honesty coming so easily.
“I think you were mine, too,” she said softly.
His heart was a helium balloon with no string attached. “I want to be your last. At seventeen, I didn’t know what it meant to be in love. I do now. It isn’t always perfect and it’s definitely not always easy, but when you’re with the right person, that doesn’t matter as much, because no matter what happens, you know you can lean on them. Trust them. I want to be the person you trust, who you know won’t ever let you down. I won’t break your trust, Jilly. I won’t break your heart. I’ll cherish it. For as long as you’lllet me. For the rest of my life and then some. Please don’t let us be over.”
Jillian’s hands trailed along his hairline and he wondered if it was nervous movement. “I’m sorry I walked away. That I pushed you away and then stayed away. I was so overwhelmed. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Andrew, that I didn’t talk to you. That I didn’t lean on you. That wasn’t fair. I was so scared by everything I felt for you and how all of the things in my life seemed to be changing.”
His precious, cautious Jillian. “Change can be good, honey. It brought me home, to you. It brought me here, to the lodge. It broughtyouhere to the lodge. The good thing about coming together at this stage in our lives, we know ourselves better. I love you, Jillian. In a way that I’ve never loved anyone else. I know it’s hard for you to take a leap, but I promise you, I’ll always be here when you land. I’m happy to sign a legal document any time in the future, but, for now, it’s a promise. A promise to be honest and open with you. To work through hard times and enjoy the good. To walk by your side and hold your hand. To make you laugh and hold you when you cry. I love you so much it feels impossible to explain it, but then I look at you and I know you understand.”
She nodded, slowly, her eyes filling with new tears. “I do. I love you, too, Levi. I feel like, in some ways, I’ve loved you for half of my life. I want to spend the rest of it showing you how much.”
Her words settled his pulse and his breath came easier. “Tell me again. It doesn’t feel real,” he whispered, pulling her closer.
The twinkle lights seemed brighter in the shadows of the trees. “It’s so real. I love you, Levi. So much more than I ever imagined possible. And trust me, I imagined it a lot.”
“You’re my home, Jilly. My heart. You and Ollie. I don’t need anything else.” He pulled back, dug in his pocket for her gift, andpulled it out, passing her the bag with a smile. “Unless, you know, you want to give Ollie brothers and sisters.”
Her mouth formed a little O.
“Uncle Gray says sisters are bossy,” Ollie called from the side of the house.
Levi and Jilly both looked over to where Ollie was peering around the side of the house. Grayson gave a sheepish shrug. “Sorry. She wanted to make sure you guys were okay.”
Levi laughed as he held out his hand. “Come here, Ollie.”
Grayson looked at him with a smile that seemed like approval and then left the three of them alone. Ollie stopped in front of him, her mother standing beside her. He crouched down, the other little bag in his hand. “I love your mom, Ollie. Is that okay with you?”
Ollie’s grin, missing teeth and all, filled him with a unique kind of happiness. “Gramma says you can’t help who you love.”
Jillian laughed. “No. You can’t, but when you make a promise to them, you can do everything in your power to keep it. Even when you’re scared. I love Levi, too, Ollie, but that won’t ever change how much I love you.”
Ollie looked up at her mom, her nose scrunching. “I know. Why would you do that? I love Levi, too, and now we can all be together.”
God, his heart might burst apart in his chest. He gave Ollie the gift, stood up so both of his girls could open them.
Their dual gasps were so cute. They both ran their fingers over the beads. Ollie’s were purple and lime green because Lainey said those were her favorite colors.
