Her mom picked up the glue, maybe just to have something in her hands, because she didn’t go back to work. “We could try a homemade one. It’s been a while but I remember the recipe.”
Push.“Come with me.”
Her mother’s expression shut down. “No thank you.” Her fingers tightened on the closed bottle.Well, that lasted all of thirty seconds.
“Mom.”
“Don’t do this.”
Irritation and possibly a little sleep deprivation that she wasn’t at all sorry for spurred her on. “Don’t do what? Ask my grown mother to come to the grocery store with me? Mom. I can’t do everything.”
The lines around Gwen’s eyes deepened even as her gaze flashed with anger. “Order and have it delivered. Don’t be a martyr.”
“Jesus. A martyr? Really, Mom? I’m asking you to come run one errand with me. Spend some time with me outside of this godforsaken house.”
Her mother smacked the glue bottle down on the table. “Don’t you talk about this house in a negative way. It’s not just an errand to me.”
“Then what is it?” Lexi worked to soften her voice. “Tell me what it is so I can help.”
“You can’t help,” Gwen said, fury and sadness in her tone.
“I can.”
“Stop.”
“No.” Lexi didn’t mean to shout but she couldn’t keep pretending it was all okay.
“I can’t go there. The grocery store I spent hours at every week? If I do and I see people I know, they’ll want to know how I am and I’ll say I’m fine when I won’t ever be. They’ll give me pitying glances and talk behind my back. I can’t go anywhere we used to go because all I’ll see is him and part of that sounds wonderful but it’ll rip me apart because I’ll have to talk about him. It’ll remind people that I’m here and he’s not.” Her mom’s shoulders shook even as her voice broke.
Lexi hurried forward, pulled her into a tight hug, stroking Gwen’s hair like her mother had done for her when she was little. “Okay.” She murmured the word over and over again.
Gwen’s tears softened but her hold on Lexi didn’t. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Lexi said, still stroking her hair. “I’m glad you told me. You should have told me.”
Lexi pulled back, used her shirt cuff to dry her mom’s eyes. Gwen sniffed, gave a little laugh of embarrassment.
“I guess we’ve both been keeping things to ourselves.” She arched her brows and for a second, Lexi thought of telling her the truth. But she was happy with Will. She liked being with him and wanted to be with him more. She didn’t want to ruin this moment, any hint at progress. It hurt no one to leave it as it was.
Squeezing her mom’s arm once more, Lexi stepped away. “I’ll go grab the stuff for pie. If you’re not up to making it when I get back, we can save it for later this week.”
Gwen let out a shaky breath. “Grab a couple of premade shells. That way we’ll get pie no matter how I’m feeling.”
Lexi laughed. “Okay. Text me if you need anything else.”
Lexi’s emotions felt like they’d taken the front-row seat on a roller coaster. She sat in the grocery store parking lot, head resting against the seat. Last night was the kind of thing her mother’s books talked about: a connection that went beyond physical. One that shook her because if it was this powerful now, what would it be like two weeks from now? Five weeks? Could she see further than that?
Her phone buzzed. It was like being popular again, only this time she didn’t need the adoration and attention of others. It wasn’t something she’d ever craved until it went away and she’d felt a little lost without it. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she checked the message. Jackie had amusingly named their group chat We’re Still Cool.
Jackie
Guess what? We were invited to the Grands’ birthday bash. No getting out of hanging out now. Becs, you going?
Becca
I am. Lexi, you’ve been all over the socials. Also, where the hell are your socials? You need my help.
Lexi hadn’t googled Will again because she didn’t really want to know what was being said. Living inside this bubble was different than the one she’d been trapped in for the last few years. This one was fun.
