“Ollie and Jill got back about an hour ago. Ollie was crying. Jill went right into cleaning mode. Remember when she got divorced? Everything within a fifty-foot radius was cleaner than it’d ever been.”
Beckett chuckled. “Yeah. I came home from a trip and she’d painted my bedroom.”
“What are you going to throw yourself into?”
At least he had an answer for that. “The bike rental. Called Gramps, asked if I could talk to him about the lot.”
“And?” By unspoken agreement, they turned, started down the path.
“And what? I’m meeting with him in a few days. I’m heading to Indianapolis for a few days to visit a bike manufacturer.”
“What if you went to Great Falls?”
Beckett stopped walking. “What?”
Grayson turned so they were facing each other. “No matter where you go, we’re still family, man. You sure a bike rental is your dream now that you’ve met Presley?”
Beckett shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “They’re hardly the same thing.”
“No. One will let you do something you enjoy, close to the home you’ve always known and the safety of your family. The other could change your entire life and bring you a happiness like you’ve never known.”
Irritation rose in his chest. He tried to tamp it down. Gray’s job as an older brother was to be annoying and play devil’s advocate. “It was a weeklong fling, man.”
“Oh yeah?”
That irritation simmered. “Yeah. She was a guest. It happened. It’s over.”
His brother nodded. “Of course. Because anything different would be scary and you don’t do scared. You don’t do hard or tough.”
Beckett pulled his hands from his pockets, and they clenched into fists. His chest heaved. “What did you just say?” Stupid question, since he’d never forget the words.
“The truth.”
It was hard to resist the urge to shove him like he would have as kids. “I’ve been busting my ass for you, putting aside what I want, living in a stupid cabin like a frat boy to help you. I’m so exhausted some nights from being here, traveling back and forth to my actual job, and trying to have a life, I fall into bed without even meaning to. And you think I can’t handle something hard?”
Grayson’s body braced like he was ready for whatever Beckett gave. “I appreciate the hell out of you, man. I’ve never doubted your loyalty. You are the most kickass brother a guy, or Jill, could have. You’re a great uncle and a great son. Sometimes, you’re not even that bad of a fisherman.”
“Screw you.” Beckett brushed past him, intentionally knocking his shoulder against Grayson’s. “Screw you, man.”
Not taking a hint, Gray fell into step beside him. “But all of that is the safe path. Remember when we used to play Life as kids? Jilly made us play that stupid game all the time. She and I would switch it up. Go to college, get a job, have twelve plastic babies, bet big, quit a job. Not you. You chose the same damn path, the same job, the same wife, and two point two creepy, plastic kid pegs every time until you got to retirement.”
Beckett stopped again, his breath sawing in and out. “You’re being an ass because I beat you consistently at a kid’s game?”
Grayson laughed but stopped short when he realized Beckett saw no humor in what his brother had said.
“No. I’m saying you’ve always chosen the same path because—I don’t know. Maybe you’re not scared. Maybe you have a misguided sense of loyalty and feel like you don’t deserve whatever dream you want to chase. Why’d it take you so long to tell us? You didn’t think we’d back you? You telling me there isn’t a spot near Presley, some little park or something, where you could rent out bikes or sell them or do whatever the hell it is you want in a place where you get to go home every night to her?”
“What self-help book are you reading?”
Grayson grabbed his arm, swung him around. “Stop. Stop fucking walking. Stop running.”
“What the hell do you want from me, Gray?” Beckett hadn’t meant to shout.
“I want you to think about what you really want and go for it no matter who gets left behind. I want you to be happy and fulfilled. I want you to not be so scared of things being different that you walk away from love. I’ve never seen you light up like that, man. I want you to go for it even if you fail. Even if you do end up back here, living in a cabin like a frat boy. You’ll know you gave it everything.”
Beckett’s chest felt like a wall of rocks, carefully stacked on top of one another. One rock shifted. Another. And the whole damn thing came tumbling down. He was a fucking idiot.
He loved Smile. His family. His dream of the bike shop and even his apartment. He loved routine and seeing Adam when he showed up at home. He loved bike riding through town and hanging out with Ollie. He loved Jill’s laughter and the way she fussed over guests. He loved back-porch beers under the stars with Grayson. He loved his mom and dad and couldn’t wait to see them.
