“It’s quite alright, Hina.” Austin takes the rest of the cards from my hand. “Let’s move onto the next team.”
Rhys looks a bit confused at how quick the game was for us as we walk back to our spots. Did I do something wrong?
“Did we do okay?” I ask Hina as Dean and Katarina are called up.
She looks at me with a sullen look of pity but doesn’t sugar-coat anything. “You took too long answering and fucked up the answer, but honestly it’s a stupid game so who cares?”
Shame floods into my vagus nerve and hinders my ability to move or speak or live.
All of the above.
I want the ground to swallow me up right this minute.
Swiping my head to the left, “Rhys, I’m sorry. I messed up.”
His smile is kind. Unapologetic. “All good, I’m pretty sure I messed up too.”
That doesn’t make me feel better.
“You look a little pale,” Hina notices with a quick look over. “Do you want a Tylenol?”
Dean’s looking at me, so are some of the staff members holding the thick microphones over them. I didn’t have those…
“No, I’m…” Something oddly similar to worry flashes though Dean’s stare. But he can’t be worried. Impossible. “Fine.Peachy, really.”
Not true, but we push through.
“We’ll start with Katarina,” Austin whispers something in the cameraman’s ear. I’m hoping the symptoms subside but that’s wishful thinking.
My shoulders are hunched up to my ears. Rhys keeps peekingglances my way. Shaan has been quiet but it’s obvious how he’s silently judging me.
I miss Nadine and Rosa. We may have been separated for years now, but the feeling of their presence and the way they make me feel in unusual settings isn’t lost to me.
“You and your partner have been in a relationship for over a year now. You know his family and he knows yours. Things are getting serious. Midway through, your partner’s personal relationships with their family starts to get rough due to unexpected situations. Your partner tells you that they need to focus on taking care and providing for them, which means that they won’t be able to give you a lot of time. They reassure you that they still love you but are honest about how the dynamic between both of you will change. How would you respond to this situation?”
Jealousy spikes through my skin.
Wonder what it’s like to read without needing to throw up.
She thinks for a minute. Flings her hair over her shoulder. Rests a perfectly manicured hand over her knee. Baby pink, or peach. Pretty colours for nails. “Relationships are a commitment.”
Hina snorts. She rests her palm on her cheek and turns to look at me, “Here we go.”
“Family is important, but when you make a commitment to someone—especially the commitment of being with them and loving them, then you have to abide by it. In this situation, I’d have self-respect. If my partner told me they needed to prioritize their family and not me, then I’d tell them to do what they needed to do but not to expect me to wait for them. Being loved by someone else is an honour I can’t exactly put into words but being loved by me is a privilege. If my partner thinks they can put me on a backpedal while they move forward with their life, then I’m sorry but I’m moving on. Life is short,love comes and goes, and they won’t be the last person to love me.”
Now that is… one heck of an answer.
I almost applaud. “Wow,” I say instead. “I want to be her.”
“No,” Hina mutters. “You want to avoid her.”
“Why do you hate her?” I whisper. The camera staff move around the room to film the game from a different angle.
If I find out that Hina’s an actor then I’m taking away any awards she’s won because you see this? She’s terrible at hiding how she feels. She needs to pretend that she doesn’t know Katarina, otherwise Austin and Irene will be at her throat.
“She’s a stuck-up bitch, that’s why.” There’s a snarl at the end of that. I’m getting dizzy and drama makes me faint. When Hina’s ready to share, I’ll be ready to offer my shoulder.
Turning my attention back to the pair in front, Dean’s looking right at me. I guess he read the scenario because Austin is taking the card from him.
