“True story,” Nadine pitches in. Below the blanket, she rubs her belly. “He shouldn’t have deposited that money, but he’s sorry.”
“It’s not about the money. It’s about trust. We worked up to the moment of sharing our deepest parts. No one has seen me the way Dean has. Let’s say that the money wasn’t to keep me quiet, he could’ve told me.”
This has been a problem from the beginning—back to when he didn’t pick me on the show—to now. These patterns shouldn’t continue repeating when we’ve addressed it already. That, and I’m getting emotional whiplash. When I trusted him with my lawsuit, he shouldn’t have gone and chose to help. I asked him not to swoop in—to not let me feel inferior to my problems. He did, though. He left me to stare into the abyss of my feelings and question whether it’s been worth getting lost and finding him with open arms. I didn’t ask for it, didn’t want to be berated and belittled for a choice I made.
Whether it takes me seven years or seven lifetimes to pay off the debt, or spend a whole year in prison, it wasn’t his right to swoop in. Trust is a fickle string tied to my throat.Do they think I won’t cut it off when you pull too hard?
“You’ve dealt with me,” Nadine says, she moves up to lean against the headboard. “You know we have trouble communicating.”
“That’s exactly why I can’t deal with it,” I admit with a frown. “I’m tired of filling in the blanks.”
“Then stop,” Rosa snipes with a lifted brow. “No one’sforcing you to be with him.”
“When you bare your heart out to someone and instead of them throwing it back at you, they carefully hold it in the palm of their hands like it’s a newborn baby, say that again.”
Rosa’s nostrils flare. “Either get rid of him or forgive Dean and work on this together. Stop being annoying about this, it’s been what?” She looks at Nadine. “Two weeks since the money thing? And you say you don’t hold grudges.”
“It’s not a grudge,” I snap back. She’s giving good advice, but admitting it means I have to go downstairs and talk to Dean. I’m not ready to face him just yet.
“Both of you,” Nadine sighs, turning the heater off. Enveloping us in thick silence. “It’s your life, Nova. We can give you advice but it’s up to you to take it. Whether you’re with him or not, we’re on your side.”
A strong pang hits the side of my head. Of course, my luck has run out.
I put pressure on that side, hoping that it’ll just pass and won’t turn into death.
“You good? Is it a migraine?”
My eyes snap up to Rosa. “You know?”
“We both do,” Nadine adds.
“How?” My voice is a whisper. It dawns on me. “The show.”
They nod. Rosa smacks her tongue. “It’s not like you were trying to hide it.”
“I didn’t think you guys watched after…”
“After you blew up on us?” Rosa scoffs, finding her trimmed nails more exciting. “We had to support you.”
I look back and forth between them. Only they would forget about our fights and move on like our words didn’t hurt each other. That’s the best part about being sisters. One day you’ll torture each otherto the point where death seems easy, and the next you’d die for each other.
“Did you also know about…”How I’m not an editor anymore? I’m a florist, barely make enough money, and hate telling you?
“We know about your shop,” Nadine smiles. “I’m surprised it took you this long to open one.”
“You’renotmad? You got me the job.”
“Why would I be?” Nadine looks at Rosa, confused. “I’ll always trust you,baby girl. I hate that you weren’t able to tell us about it, but I understand too. You’ve always been good at pulling away. Learn from the best, don’t you?” She refers to herself. “No crying,” she points at my watering eyes. “We have pressing matters to talk about.”
I’m crying now. Not holding back, because somehow even after all my wrongdoings and flaws, they’re here. They left their life behind to hold onto me—to bring me back. I’ve thought of myself as a burden for so long, I forgot that they happily take on my weight. Despite the snappy remarks, jokes, and unsolicited advice—my sisters are my sisters. Our friendship is thicker than blood. Even if fire falls from the sky, both of them would shelter their arms over my head to make sure I don’t get burned.
“Girl, go hug her.” Nadine struggles to get up, but kicks Rosa. She looks at me disgusted.
“She has snot dripping down her nose.”
“So?” Nadine kicks the heater down, trying to sit up. “You have snot too.”
“Yeah, but hers is…”
