He shook his head in disbelief. “Stop being delusional.”
“Why?” I whispered. “Why do you want to break up?”
“Because your existence is suffocating!”
Reeling back with tears, “Then what about all the confessions you made?”
“Confessions are meant to be broken,” he stared at me straight on.
“Was all of it a lie then?” I wrapped my arms around my body.
A beat. “Yes.”
“Even when you…” A crack. “When you told me you loved me?”
I couldn’t look at him. I don’t think I’d ever be able to look at him again.
Especially not when his voice rocked hard against my stained skin, pulling out the shards from my veins, only to stab them directly in my heart.
Waiting for him to answer would be torture when I knew what it would be.
When I turned around, my feet digging into the muddy grass, I thought of our secret kisses, the truthful confessions, the loving gazes.
All of it was gone.
A delusion I spent all my time alone in.
Christian was the imagination parents forced their kids to forget about.
And as I walked to my car, my gut emptied itself of all Christian reminiscents—leaving behind a tear in the shape of the girl who still loved him.
That Night — 2 AM
“Christian!”I banged at his apartment door. Tears clung to my chest, waiting for him to open the door. “Please, open the door!”
An older lady stood with a sad expression on her face before shutting her door. No, there was nothing sad. I could fix this. Christian needed me. He… couldn’t be alone right now.
The door swung open just as I was about to bang again.
Osama looked down at me, his face full of worry. “You shouldn’t be here. He’s not at his best right now.”
I pushed past him, “I don’t care. I need to be here for him.”
Christian stood on the other side. I didn’t recognize him, but it didn’t matter, I’d learn to recognize every version of him.
“Christian, I can’t leave you alone. Not yet.Please.”
Despite the desperation in my voice, he didn’t budge. “Take her home, Osama.”
“No!” I screamed when Osama moved closer. “We don’t have to break up, I’ll be whoever you want me to be, Christian. Please don’t do this, not today.”
“What don’t you understand about me dumping you? I don’t want you anymore, Adelaide. Leave me the fuck alone.”
When he turned his back to me, walking to his room. I did the only thing that came to mind.
I got down on my knees. “You may not love me, maybe you don’t want me anymore, but let me love you Christian. Let me take care of you, please. You shouldn’t be alone at a time like this,” I begged.
Something flashed across his eyes, before he fisted his hands. “Get up, Adelaide.”
