CHAPTER ELEVEN
THE DANCE
Julian
“How do I look?”
Sophie’s shy, unsure voice settles over the bedroom and I turn around to find her wearing a white shift dress, sheer black tights, and a leather jacket. She’s paired her outfit with the over-the-knee boots that drive me crazy, and her hair is tousled.Gorgeous.
“You look perfect, as always,” I say, buttoning my white Oxford shirt with shaky hands.
Tonight is the night—exactly two days after we all agreed we’d try a scene with Kai and Sophie. I had to get the contract drawn up, which took until this afternoon, thanks to my distracted mind. And of course, both Sophie and Malakai were tested just to be safe. It also gave us time to come to terms with the fact that we were actually bringing a friend into this for the first time. Normally, the men I chose for Sophie were strangers, people she’d never seen before. It made things easier.
It made things less complicated.
For the first time in a long time, I’m anxious.
Sophie shifts her weight, and I can’t help but watch the way her skirt flutters over her thighs. She really does look so pretty tonight, and my first thought is how Kai is going to notice it, too.
My stomach tightens, half with anticipation, half with something sharper.
I’m always aroused by the idea of other men finding her attractive—and her giving them a taste of something just out of reach. She ismine, after all.
But now, Kai’s part of it, and that makes everything more… convoluted.
I glance at the mirror and catch my own reflection, face flushed, fingers fumbling as I continue trying to button my shirt. The trembling in my fingers gets worse, and I curse under my breath when the button slips through my fingers yet again.
Just thinking about Kai sets my nerves on edge. He’s invited us to his apartment in downtown Crestwood. I’ve never been, but I’m anxious to see the place he calls home. I can’t help but imagine how he’s probably smoothing his hair, getting that cool, unbothered look down like he always does. The memory of that kiss from years ago—a kiss that was a mistake, according to him, but a kiss that still hasn’t stopped echoing in my mind—tightens something in my chest.
Our complex history just adds another thorny layer to all of this.
Tonight, I’ll only be watching, like I always do. I should be focused on Sophie, but it’s impossible to ignore Kai’s pull. I already know from the tight knot of anticipation in my gut that Sophie won’t be the only person I watch tonight. Even now, when I think I’ve buried everything, here it is, back to taunt me. I’mexcitedto see him aroused, too.
It’s not unusual, per se. I am a bisexual man, and I have, at one point or another, enjoyed watching the men enjoy my wife.
However, those men were not Kai.
They were strangers, and it was easy to say goodbye and never think of them again.
Tonight, though?
I can’t promise to forget about how Kai looks fucking my wife.
Studying my reflection, I run a hand through my blond hair. I’ve been staring at my reflection for too long. My lips are pressed thin, and my jaw is tight.
Why does the idea of Kai touching Sophie feel more personal than with any other man?
There’s something else bubbling underneath my cool facade, too, and I would be remiss if I ignored or suppressed it. I’m jealous.
Every time I think about how he’ll look at her—how he’ll touch her—jealousy prickles up my spine, even if I have no right to feel it.
And the worst part?
Every time I think about how she’ll look at him, how she’ll touch him, makes me even more envious.
That’sa first for me. I’ve never felt like this before, and the realization hits me like a punch to the gut.
My mind is on a distraction loop, oscillating between different intrusive scenarios for the night—another glorious side effect of my ADHD.
