And now?
I’d just had one of the best orgasms of my life.
In all of my fantasies involving Sophie and other guys, I hadn’t ever considered what it would feel like to be fucked by them.
Guilt washes over me when I squeeze my eyes shut.
In my little shower wet dream, I’d even imaginedhimfuckingme—which is laughable.
There was no way in hell I’d ever let Kai top me. I’ve never been a bottom, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to start with Kai.
I turn the shower off, grab a towel, and pat myself dry. Just as I wrap the towel around my waist, I hear Sophie’s laugh from down the hall, followed by Kai’s low, sensual tenor.
I can’t help the image of him fucking her float through my mind.
Scowling, I walk to the closet, closing the door behind me to drown everything out. I lean against the wood, my breath ragged, eyes squeezed shut again. His face floods my mind, sharp and clear, as if seventeen years had never passed.
Sophie’s laugh echoes in my ears, but it’s his voice I hear—low, dangerous, and far too close.
God, I’m losing it.
I press my forehead against the closet door, the weight of everything crashing over me.
A sickening realization is taking hold: Malakai was never really gone.
I’d buried him deep, but now… now he’s clawing his way back to the surface.
And I’m terrified I won’t be able to stop him.
I built this life for a reason—to keep that part of me locked away. To keep Sophie at the center of everything. But I’m starting to wonder if Kai’s the one who holds the key, and I don’t know what happens if that door opens again.
CHAPTER SIX
THE PENANCE
Malakai
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”
My lips twitch and I lean back in my chair. The office around me is dimly lit, shadows stretching over the dark wood paneling that lines the walls. It’s not the same as my actual office at Saint Helena Academy, but I’d done a good job having the room custom-made for me. I’d managed to replicate each groove of the paneling worn smooth from years of silent witness of everyone’s confessions, each dark smoke shadow from a candle burning for too long.
The thing is, my real office—with its symbols of devotion and unyielding tradition—feels like a cage. The thing about that particular cage is that it’s carved out of expectation, reinforced with obligation. I used to think I could live inside it, let the weight of it mold me into the perfect shape. But lately, that weight has started to shift, pressing in on the wrong places. Places I don’t want to admit are soft.
The crosses, the holy figures in the stained glass—each one stares back at me with a kind of cold, silent reproach. I wonder what they’d say if they could talk.
I wonder what they’d say if they knew about the impulses I’ve stopped trying to contain.
That’s the problem, though. I don’t want to contain them anymore.
Which is why I have an office here.A safe space, in a safe place.Far away from the prying eyes of the children and staff who attend Saint Helena, and also a safe space for the women who act as my submissives.
“May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins. How long has it been since your last confession?”
She gives me a pretty, little smile. “Too long,” she purrs. “Since my last confession, I have defiled this very desk and had lustful thoughts about you, Father.”
“I’m going to assign a penance. You understand what that means, don’t you?”
I stand up, and Vivienne looks at me with wide, brown eyes. “Yes, Father. It’s something to show remorse and renew my commitment to the Lord.”
