I stumble back, blinking the water from my eyes. I look up, and my heart stops dead in my chest before hammering out of control.
Malakai Ravage.
Time slows in that shitty cinematic way I hate. I notice everything—the water dripping down his collarbones, the faint nick on his jawline from shaving.
I hate that my brain still catalogs him like this.
He’s staring at me, his gray eyes wide with surprise, and then recognition clicks into place. Drops of water trail down the scruff on his neck, over his bare chest, all the way down to the hard lines of his abs. He looks… different.Older. Rougher around the edges. But it’s him.
It’s Kai.
My pulse spikes, not from shock but from everything I’ve buried for the last seventeen years, and God, I hate that. I thought the next time I saw Malakai, I’d be able to control my emotions, but… a fiery maelstrom burns through me instantly.
For a moment, I’m frozen. My breath catches, and all the anger, the confusion, thehurt—it all rises up again, clawing at the walls I’ve spent years building. But it’s dulled, worn down bytime. It’s not sharp anymore, not like it used to be. I guess I’m thankful for that.
I have no right to be angry anymore. Life moved on. I moved on. I have Sophie now. I’m happy.Really happy. But damn if it doesn’t still sting, seeing him here, like this, like nothing’s changed when everything has.
I swallow hard and pull myself together, wiping away whatever shadow of emotion might’ve crossed my face. I won’t give him that. Not anymore. I grip the towel tighter around my neck, like that’s going to do anything to stop my pulse from racing.
“Malakai.”
I say his name like I’m trying it on for size, but it doesn’t fit right anymore. Too tight. Too worn in all the wrong places. My voice is steady, but there’s an edge to it, one I can’t quite hide. I nod, forcing some semblance of civility, even though every part of me feels like it’s vibrating with tension.
Kai blinks again, taking me in, and his lips part as if he’s about to say something. He doesn’t, though. Just stares at me like he’s still trying to figure out what to do with me being here.
But I’m not giving him the satisfaction of asking. He lost that chance a long time ago.
“Julian? You… look different,” he finally manages, voice lower and rougher than I remember.
“So do you.” My lips twitch into a humorless smile, and I let my gaze flick over him again before I snap it back to his face. I won’t let myself linger.Not again.
The silence stretches, heavy, as if neither of us knows what to say next. Or maybe there’s too much to say, and neither of us knows where to start. It’s almost suffocating, this unspoken weight between us, the years, the memories, thekissthat never got a chance to become anything more.
He clears his throat, shifting on his feet. “What are you doing here?” His words are careful, like he’s walking on glass, unsure of how thin the ice is beneath us.
I offer a half-smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.” I don’t mean for it to sound as harsh as it does, but it slips out before I can stop it. It feels easier to deflect than to explain the knot tightening in my chest.
His expression falters, and I know he catches it. The sting beneath the surface. I see something like regret cross his face, but I won’t fall for that either. Not now.
I sigh, forcing myself to release the tension in my shoulders. “We just recently moved back from London,” I explain.
“We?” he asks, brows knitting together.
“My wife, Sophie, and I.”
I say it like I’m laying down a card in a game we’re both pretending not to play. Kai watches me carefully, but I flash him the same grin I give everyone.
Unbothered.
Easygoing.
Like it doesn’t matter.
Except my fingers won’t stop drumming against the water bottle in my hand.
I shift, leaning casually against the lockers as if we’re just two old friends catching up. As if my pulse isn’t still trying to break free of my chest.
This is what I do—what I’ve always done. Keep it light. Don’t let anyone know when something cuts deeper than I want to admit. It works everywhere else. It always has. But standing here in front of Kai? I can feel the edges of that easy grin start to slip.
