But the words won’t come.
Because the truth is, I’m scared—scared that I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for if I let myself believe I deserve more.
I set the phone down without typing anything and press my hands to my face, willing myself to breathe. But the tightness in my chest doesn’t ease. Because no matter how much I want to believe otherwise, I know the truth.
Right now, alone is exactly what I am.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
THE LIBRARY
Julian
The instant Kai walks into Inferno, I can tell something’s bothering him. His shoulders are stiff, and his expression is pinched in a way I haven’t seen since we were teenagers. He’s wearing black trousers and a white Oxford shirt, no tie. His brown boots match his belt, and as always, his hair is artfully tousled—but his usual ease is gone.
I’d been worried about him all day, knowing yesterday had to have shaken him. Having Rod walk in on us wasn’t just a private moment exposed… it was his entire career hanging in the balance. I’d texted him earlier to check in, but his responses had been short, guarded. Now, seeing him like this, I know he’s likely still spiraling.
When his eyes find mine above the crowd, there’s a hint of something in his gaze—worry, distraction, or maybe both—as he walks over to us.
My chest tightens. He needs this tonight. I can feel it in the way he carries himself, in the way his expression is strained.
I can take care of him.
I can give him a space where everything else disappears, if only for a little while.
Nudging Sophie, who is chatting animatedly with the bartender, we both turn to face him.
“Hey,” Kai says, taking a seat next to my wife. Turning to the bartender, he orders a single whiskey.
“Thanks for coming tonight,” Sophie says, reaching out for his fingers. I notice the way his hand goes stiff underneath hers before relaxing. “I know it was last minute, but I—we—really wanted to see you.”
Kai looks at me, and his emotions are shuttered behind his eyes as he nods once, smiling down at Sophie.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Sophie’s not wrong. After I got home from Kai’s office yesterday, Sophie and I hung around at home, wishing we could be with Kai. And because of what happened with his colleague, Rod, I’d wanted to give him some space. But then Sophie had gotten a package this morning… a wearable vibrator. She insisted she wanted to try having both of us inside of her tonight, and thought meeting at Infernowhile wearing it would be a good way to get herself ready.
She has the remote control, and my only stipulation was that she get herself nice and wet for us before we even attempt it.
Kai doesn’t know. It’s our surprise for him.
“Everything okay with…” I trail off, looking at Kai.
He nods once, and then he slams the entirety of his drink. “Yeah. I took care of it.”
I huff a laugh. “Where’d you hide his body, then?”
This puts a genuine smile on his face, and my whole body tingles with warmth.God, he’s fucking cute when he smiles.
“Very funny.”
“I can help dig a grave,” Sophie chimes in, grinning. “I have excellent upper body strength from brushing Snickers, and also from Pilates.”
This makes Kai’s smile broaden. “I might take you up on that one day, little dove.”
His use of her nickname makes her blue eyes glaze over. “Whatever you need…my lord.”
Kai’s eyes go from mirthful to something darker, a glint of possession in his gaze. The air shifts, and Sophie squirms next to me as she quickly finishes her wine.
