I bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I’m not naive—I know he’s probably just brushing me off gently. This is his way of not hurting my feelings. After all, he still needs me in his life to manage his business.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Before either of us can say anything else, he turns and walks away, dragging his carry-on behind him.
I watch him go. He looks over his shoulder as he turns a corner, giving me a small smile.
After he disappears, I find a nearby bench to cry on.
Fuck.
I got too close, too quickly.
I fell for him—hard.
All he had to do was be nice to me during the day, and fuck my brains out at night. Who knew?
Composing myself, I walk to my gate and stare out the window until first class is called to board. I feel numb—like these last ten days didn’t happen.
It feels like a dream.
The flight is quick and easy, and Ari is waiting for me when I descend down the elevator at San Diego airport. Her brows squish together as I jog toward her, my face crumpling as she hugs me.
“Frankie? You okay?”
I begin to sob as I hold on to her, as my body heaves. She squeezes me and strokes my hair, and I tell myself that I don’t need Dante. That I have Ari and my mom. That everything will be okay once it goes back to normal. That this was all just some wild daydream that never actually happened.
It’s too good to be true.
“Who do I need to kill?” Ari asks, smoothing my hair down.
I pull away as I swipe the tears from my cheeks and sniff. “No, it’s fine. It’s better this way.”
Her face hardens. “Who. Do. I. Need. To. Kill?”
I laugh as I assess my friend who’s barely five-foot-two. The thought of spunky, little Ari marching up to Dante is hilarious.
“Did he end things?” she asks.
I’d sort of kept her in the loop—obviously minus the birth control ring and the dubious consent. She knew that we’d been sleeping together.
“No, not exactly. But he was really quiet all day. It’s not like we live close, and since he didn’t come out and say,Hey, I want to date you,I assume it’s because he doesn’t want to. He just said he needed a few days to figure everything out.”
“So, he’s saying he needs space?” she asks, putting her arm around my shoulders and guiding us to her parked car.
I shrug. “I guess.”
“Did he mention anything at all about how this relationship would move forward?” she asks a few minutes later, once we’re in her car.
There’s no turning back for me. Do you understand?
I want your future, your heart, your children.
I want you near me at all times. I want tofuckyou when I’m awake. When I’m asleep. I want you during waking hours and in my dreams.
“Yes, but I’m now wondering if he said it all because we were, you know?—”
“Fucking,” Ari says, rolling her eyes as she backs out of the parking spot. “Just say it. F-U-C-K-I-N-G.”
