He walks over to his bag and begins to pack things away. I stand up from the chair I was sitting in, and just as I begin to walk out of the kitchen, Kitt speaks.
“I’m a bit jealous, you know. Of what you have.”
I turn around. “What do you mean?”
Kitt finishes whatever he’s doing, and leans against the counter with a sigh. “I just mean… the solidarity. Companionship. When my wife and I separated, loneliness ate at me for a long time. I’m used to it now, but it’s… bloody fucking hard. You’re lucky you have them,” he adds, nodding to the door. “I’ve worked for the Lords of Darkness since my first day out of medical school. Charles Blackwell recruited me and we were both young and new at all of this, so I’ve watched the order both flounder and flourish. I’ve always been envious of how ruthlessly you defend each other. How much youcarefor each other.”
I eye Kitt–an older man in his sixties now. “There’s still time for you to find someone.”
Kitt shrugs. “Maybe. All I know is if I had what you have… I’d never let it go.”
I don’t say anything as he walks out of the kitchen.
All I know is if I had what you have… I’d never let it go.
After walking out of the kitchen, I go upstairs and change. I’ve already taken a shower, and Charlotte is asleep, cuddled up in bed with Max and Otto. Alex’s room is empty, so I go out to the back garden, where I see him doing laps in the detached indoor pool. I walk inside the large, warm room and sit against the back wall. My eyes track his smooth movements through the water. He does a flip and turns around, pushing off the opposite pool wall and heading back in my direction. When he stands, he sputters and coughs when he notices me.
“Christ,” he mutters, removing his goggles and running a hand through his wet hair. “You scared me.”
“Sorry. I’m not tired, but I— I also don’t want to be alone.”
Alex’s expression shifts from surprise to sympathy, and even though Iloathethe pitying look he’s giving me, I let myself sit in the uncomfortable feeling.
It’s okay that he’s worried.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.
Alex pushes up and lifts himself onto the side of the pool. I ignore the way his swimming costume clings to his muscular thighs, and I most definitely ignore the bulge evident between his legs.
“Do you ever think about your son?” I ask, and his eyes go wide at my question.
“Every day. Multiple times a day, in fact. Now that I’m no longer royalty, it makes things less complicated. I’m hoping to bring him and his mother out here for a visit once we take over.”
My lips tug into a small smile. I’d never really considered having kids, but maybe one day. It might be fun–especially with… all of them.
“I’d like that.”
“Is that why you came out here? To ask about my child?” His words are skeptical, and I don’t blame him for being blunt. After all, the other Princes have done nothing but be honest and open with me.
I’mthe one holding back–the one who’s closed off.
It’s now or never…
“Can I ask you something?” I mutter, brows furrowed as I look away.
Alex dries himself off and comes to sit down next to me. I can feel his warmth–and it’s… nice.
“You can ask me anything, Lachlan.”
I open and close my mouth a few times, pondering how to phrase my question without offending him.
“How did you know you…” I look down as my cheeks flame. “That you were attracted to men?”
Alex is quiet for long enough that I lift my eyes to his, and when I do, the look he’s giving me makes me damn near breathless.
“Is there a reason you’re asking?” he asks, his voice a low purr.
“No–I mean–yes,” I stutter. “Maybe. I’m not sure. That’s why I’m fucking asking you–”
