Most nights, I’m extra loud just to taunt him, but he seems unfazed by it.
There’ve been a couple of instances, though, where I swear he’s about to kiss me–but then he doesn’t, and it’s the worst form of edging.
Luckily, I have three other men to tend to my wants and desires.
So while most mornings are spent with Lachlan, most nights are spent with Max, Otto, or Alex–or any combination of the three.
And my days are spent crammed with learning.
We take university-level anatomy tests, and the Lords show us where all of the important tendons and arteries are.
For death and immobilization, of course.
We learn about weapons, espionage, and reconnaissance from the Lords. We get private demonstrations from different military branches from all over the world. We learn to shoot guns, throw knives, and how to throw a deadly punch. We start on a regimen of highly effective immunotherapy, so we don’t ever get sick, as well as very small doses of common poisons to build a tolerance.
Our fingerprints are burnt off with acid, and itkillsme when I can’t play the piano while my hands heal from the ordeal.
It’s grueling and exhausting. At the end of each day, I hardly have time for anything fun after dinner commences, so my liaisons with the other Princes are often quick and desperate. Weallneed to dispel the nervous energy somehow, and the hunger to be with them hasn’t left.
It’s only gotten stronger as real feelings have developed forallof them.
Despite always being exhausted, I am stronger, healthier, and more clearheaded than I’ve ever been. Especially since, whenever I have free time, I play piano.
Sterling doesn’t hate me anymore, and I’ve grown fond of Harlow. It feels like I have a sort of camaraderie with her now, especially since we’re both the only females in the order.
I wonder–probably way too often–what life would be like if Quinn had lived.
I think of her whenever we talk about criminology, or if I see someone who looks like her in my lessons. I mourn the friendship that had only just started, and I wish she’d gotten a chance to be close with us. I wish she’d gotten to know the other Princes.
But, like all aspects of this job, I push it to the back of my mind.
Compartmentalize.
“Let’s stop and get a coffee,” Lachlan says when we jog into town.
“Splash of milk,” I tell him.
He rolls his eyes and wipes his face with the front of his shirt. “Yes, I know how you take your coffee.”
He walks inside the small cafe and I decide to do some stretches off to the side while I wait. I’m hardly paying attention when a large, chocolate Labrador jumps onto my legs.
“Down, girl,” a male voice says, and when I look up, a younger man in a hat is smiling at me. I can’t really see his face due to the shadow from his hat. “Sorry, she loves people.”
I laugh as I crouch down and pet the dog, who licks my face and paws at my chest.
She looksjustlike my old dog, Cocoa.
“Helga, come on,” the man begs, clearly embarrassed.
“Her name is Helga?” I ask, standing up. I haven’t heard that name in over a decade, and I suddenly miss the older womanwho was a constant companion as a child. My parents were usually busy, so the older couple–Helga and Bruno–took care of me. Their bloodied faces that night flash through my mind, and I shake my head to clear my thoughts.
“It is,” the man answers. “And I’m Charlie.”
I hold my hand out. “Hi. I’m Lottie.”
He smirks, and as he shakes my hand, I study his face.
Realization hits me, and my skin pebbles as I drop his hand a little too quickly.
