“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I tried on numerous occasions, but then Delilah was born, and I wanted to keep that part of my life—you, Salem, Delilah, Evelyn—separate. I wanted to atone for him. At first, I did it for Evelyn—she fueled me. She inspired me when all I wanted to do was kick these bastards to the dirt. And then when I became Director, it was my mom who helped me. Though she’s dead, just imagining her courage, how brave she was to walk away from my father, to keep me happy and blissfully unaware…” My voice is thick, getting caught in my throat, and I rub my chest to dispel the persistent ache that seeps in whenever I talk about her. “I couldn’t sit and do nothing. And while there may have been other ways, other avenues to avenge the women my father fucked over, this felt personal. It felt likemypath.”
She watches me solemnly, her long, brown hair hanging down to her waist.
“I understand.” She meanders over and sits next to me. “Of all people, I understand.”
“I had to heal too. I had to come to terms with what a monster he was. This was how I did it. A slow con, over a couple of years. It was sometimes the only thing keeping me going.”
She takes my hand gently. “You’re a good man, Benedict.”
As I’m about to make some sarcastic comment, Evelyn walks into the room carrying two coffees. When she notices that I’m awake, she jogs over and nearly drops them.
“Oh my god, you’re awake!” she yells. Lily jumps up and takes the coffees, and Evelyn rushes over to me with a giant smile. She checks to make sure I’m okay before placing a hand on my shoulder.
“I need to go call Salem,” Lily says, clearing her throat and jogging out quickly.
After the door closes, she turns to me. “I assume you know that she knows about the Brotherhood?”
I nod. “I do. I’m glad you told her. I’ve been dreading that conversation for nearly two years.”
She bursts out laughing, which then turns into sobbing. Wiping underneath her eyes, she sniffs a couple of times before composing herself.
“Sorry. I was sure you were going to die. They wouldn’t tell me anything, and Lily wasn’t here yet, and I kept thinking… What if you die? How is that fair?” She swallows, her throat bobbing up and down. “You saved me. You saved them—the women in the house.Me.And Sophie freaking Larson. And twenty-three other people. Hayes said the authorities have access to everything now.”
I nod. “I’m glad.”
Her face softens. Her blonde hair is still curled like it was last night, but now she’s wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt that sayRoyal Infirmary.I try not to smile, but it’s hard since she looks hot in hospital garb.
“Isn’t this ironic?” she asks quietly, looking around. When she turns to face me again, her eyes are glassy with tears. “I’m here while you recover, just like you were there for me while I recovered,” she adds, squeezing my hand.
I smile. “I’d do it all again if it meant I got to be here with you.”
Evelyn laughs. “Did they give you drugs?”
“I’m serious. All of it—every single second.”
She twists her lips to the side. “Yeah, except I had been rescued from a monster of a man. You purposefully put yourself in danger. There’s a difference.” She pauses. “I’m still a little mad at you.”
“I’m sorry if you felt like you were in danger,” I murmur, taking her hand. “Hayes was listening. I never told him to carry you out, just so you know. He was scared that you would’ve blown our cover.”
She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t have.”
“I know. Hayes is just a jackass,” I add, and we both laugh.
She reaches out and brushes the hair off my forehead. “I was never worried about being in danger. Not once. But you? When I thought I was going to lose you? That was real fear. I still can’t believe you put yourself in the line of fire like that,” she admonishes. “Actually, yes I can. I take that back,” and I laugh.
“In order for our plan to work, which was always to arrest The Directors, we needed to have everyone distracted and grouped together. Hayes and I couldn’t bear the thought of putting someone innocent through that. So, we formulated a plan—I would offer myself instead. And I was fine fighting for justice, keeping you at a distance all those years. I was fine letting you hate me forever.” I pause. “But then you came back into my life, and everything changed.Everythingchanged. I no longer wanted to go through with my plan. I wanted to be with you. So, you can see what a dilemma that was for me—love you,bewith you, or save innocent people? How could I possibly choose?”
A tear slips down her cheek. “Benedict,” she whispers.
“I knew you’d never let me do what I did if you knew about it, so I was purposefully vague. And for that, I’m sorry.” At one point, I wasn’t sure I’d make it out alive. Each Director’s attack became more… brutal. But all I can say is I’m sorry and be thankful she couldn’t see what was happening.
Hoping she’ll forgive me.
She laughs and shakes her head. God, she’s beautiful. “You’re apologizing to me? Your hands look like Edward Scissorhands got to you, and you suffered a deep stab wound. They had to resuscitate you, and you’re saying sorry?”
I chuckle. “So technically I did die,” I muse.
“For, like, 10 seconds. They had to give you a transfusion because you lost so much blood.”
