Never anything more.
“What would you have done?” he asks, his eyes finding mine in the dim light.
I glance at him. “What do you mean?”
Even here, in the darkness, I can sense his hard stare. “If our roles had been reversed? Would you have saved me?”
I swallow. “I guess so.”
He gives me a small smile. “I wish you would stop acting surprised that I’m a decent human being.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I stare out the window some more.
Zoey takes my hand as she closes her eyes, and pretty soon, we enter the motorway to make the forty-minute drive to Oxford. I glance at Benedict every few minutes, but he’s on his phone. His eyes are on me every so often, but I don’t acknowledge him.
I hardly recognize the man before me. The years between us had shaped him into something harder—someone with jagged edges where there used to be warmth. For a second, I wonder if my indifference had any effect on him, but then I push it away. Of course not. He never cared about me, and he never would. He felt bad for me, and he always did the right thing, and he did it out of his loyalty to Lily. He had better things to worry about now—important things, like the Brotherhood.
And whoever it was that he started dating.
I combat the envy as I watch Benedict smile at his phone.I met someone.Even if I ever considered wanting more with Benedict, clearly, that would never happen.And I’ll never find someone who makes me feel as safe either.Let alone love.
We pull into Oxford a few minutes later, and the driver pulls up to our building. I’m the first one out. I help Zoey as she stumbles, and then I grab my purse and lead her away before either of them can say anything.
“Evelyn.” Benedict’s voice echoes across the street.
I turn to find him standing next to the car, his arms crossed.
“One sec,” I murmur to Zoey.
I march over to Benedict, stopping a few feet away. I look at him, noticing the way his thumb brushes against the fabric of his coat. The creases in his forehead are pronounced as he studies me.
“Thank you for rescuing me. Again,” I add, giving him a small, forced smile.
“You asked me why I saved you that day,” he starts, looking down and kicking a rock. “I fell in love with you the instant I saw you, Evelyn.”
I stop breathing for a few seconds, my pulse quickening. When he looks at me, his eyes are sad, and his smile is lopsided.
“What?”
I take a step forward, but he turns around and climbs into the car, shutting the door before I have a chance to respond. I watch his car drive away as I stand there shivering in the cold. When I turn around, Zoey is fumbling with her keys, so I let us into the flat. Zoey walks off unsteadily to take a shower, and I sit on the couch and pull my phone out. Hitting the call button, Lily picks up on the first ring. I apologize for calling so late as I glance at the box by the door—the latest care package that arrived yesterday.
“It’s fine, I’m awake. Everything okay?”
I bite my tongue, drawing blood. I want to tell her everything—but that would mean admitting that I’m not okay. Her plate is full. She doesn’t need something else to worry about. Especially because I’m sure it hurts her slightly when I rail on about how much I dislike Benedict.
“Yeah. Just wanted to call and say hi.”
“Okay,” she responds, her voice skeptical. “Are you sure?”
Change the subject.
I glance at the box. “I wanted to say thanks for the care package. I never thanked you for them before because I’m a horrible friend,” I blurt.
She’s quiet for a minute. “What care package?”
I sit up straighter. “The one that comes every other month or so?” I ask, my voice small. “Marshmallow fluff?”
She giggles. “Not me, sorry. And where are you finding marshmallow fluff?! I’ve been looking for years.”
