He wasn’t simply busy. He was avoiding me.
I pressed my lips together, smothering the sharp pang of hurt that threatened to surface. The worst part was that I knew why.
I thought I had only embarrassedmyselfwhen I had assumed he wanted me as I had wanted him. Was my foolishness going to cost me his friendship, too?
The memory burned vividly in my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push it away. Until Kael had pushed me aside that night six days ago, I hadn’t even realized how attracted I’d been to him.
That night, my admiration for Kael had tipped into something warmer, deeper—something I could no longer ignore. I’d leaned toward him, desperate to close the distance between us. When he had fled the room as if demons were after him, it had helped me come to my senses. Kaelwasn’tattracted to me. Or worse, hedidn’t even think of me as a friend, he’d only been tolerating me because of my usefulness to him.
I’d seen the look in his eyes when I had leaned toward him: not longing, not even awkward uncertainty. It was horror.
The thought twisted my stomach into knots.
Until that moment, I hadn’t even realized the depth of my attraction to him. His quiet strength, his care, the way his rough-edged exterior softened when he thought I wasn’t paying attention—it had all crept up on me without warning. And I’d ruined it.
Now, I was paying the price.
I dumped the burnt herbs into the refuse bin with a sigh, turning my attention back to the potion station I’d set up near the tower window. Outside, the sun hung low in the sky, casting the snow-covered forest in shades of gold and pale lavender. A beautiful sight, but not one I could enjoy.
I couldn’t let things go on like this. The silence between us had grown unbearable, hanging over every shared meal, every stolen glance. It was a barrier I hadn’t meant to erect, and yet I couldn’t seem to tear it down.
Well, there was only one thing for it, I had to ignore what had happened and help us find our way back to our friendship from before, however shallow it may have been. Otherwise, the next three months would betorture.
His avoidance of me was working, though. There was no room for awkwardness between us when we hardly saw each other except for meals. Every book I asked him to read, he read through the night and in the morning, I found it left on the table I had reserved for my research. He left notes with his thoughts and questions on each book, but he was usually nowhere to be seen by the time I woke.
Well, this frozen silence between us couldn’t last forever. Tonight, I’d just have to confront him andtalkto him about this. I’d have to tell him that even if he rejected me, I wasn’t pining away in heartbreak, and I was perfectly capable of working with him on solving our problems.
But it was proving difficult when Kael was determined to avoid me every chance he could get. He couldn’t hide away from me in the small tower, but during the day time, he spent most of his time in the forest, going for long walks, chopping firewood, or hunting. And the rest of the time, he spent in his room. I’d often wondered what he’d been doing in there, but I’d left him alone to his privacy.
Until this morning, when I’d been working on my potions and he’d gone out for a walk, as usual. The faintest wisp of smoke still lingered in the tower’s halls from when I had burned my herbs when I should have just lightly singed them. It meant that I had to open all the windows I could to let the smell out, even in Kael’s room.
I hesitated at the threshold, feeling like an intruder even though the door had been left ajar. The room was austere but lived-in, the sort of space that told you more about its occupant than words ever could.
A neatly made bed, its blanket dark and serviceable. A heavy cloak hanging on a peg by the door, its hem frayed from frequent use. And on the desk, a collection of loose papers, some weighted down by an open book.
A gust of wintery wind blew in from the open window, rifling the papers on his desk, and that was when I saw it.
Hundreds of charcoal drawings, birds and squirrels, trees and flowers, clouds and sunsets. Captured with a precision and artistry that took my breath away, the textures of bark andfeathers so vivid that I could almost feel them beneath my fingertips. And people—faces I couldn’t recognize, smiling and glaring, pensive and laughing—and all of them so lifelike that they took my breath away. Kael had a talent for bringing the everyday to life in his sketches.
And then there was one of me, sitting at the kitchen table, writing in a book, my hair tumbling loose around my shoulders.. It made my heart squeeze to see myself reflected in Kael’s hand. Was this how he saw me? I looked more beautiful than I could have thought.
The lines were bold yet tender, capturing a moment I barely remembered.
I turned another page, and my breath caught. This one was of me, too, but it was pure imagination, because I had never looked this. The picture showed me reclining on a bed, my head propped up on a pillow as my curls swirled around my head. My eyes were large and my mouth was open, lips parted as if I was breathing heavily. A single clawed hand was resting against the side of my head, while the other was fisted in my curls, as if it was drawing me upward to meet the owner of those hands.
I shivered. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the hands belonged to Kael. He didn’t think of me as a friend, that much was sure.
But then why was he avoiding me? Maybe he was just shy. Perhaps he was afraid of overstepping and didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship. The questions churned in my mind as I carefully replaced the drawings, smoothing the papers back into order. My hand lingered on the desk for a moment, my gaze drifting to the open window and the snow-covered trees beyond.
We can’t go on like this,I thought.If he feels the same way, he needs to tell me. And if he doesn’t…then I need to move on.
Well then, that meant that I would have to show him his attentions wouldn’t be…unwelcome.
Smiling, I replaced his drawings, carefully placing everything back in order. Then, shutting the window again, I left his room.
That evening, I set my plan into motion.
Kael and I ate dinner together in the kitchen, the fire crackling warmly in the hearth. He was quiet, as he’d been all week, but his tension had eased slightly, his shoulders no longer hunched as if bracing for an attack.
