I skip the familiar numbers because those are meaningless. I’m looking for someone I don’t know. An hour passes, and I scan over the mess I made, wondering what I’m missing because nothing comes up. The weight in my chest has lightened because maybe I am crazy and he’s not cheating. He’s proven it to me time and time again. But I just can’t fight this gut feeling.
My hands that were shaking a minute ago are now steadier as I pick up the next sheet. I scan it over, wondering if I’m looking at this all wrong. I throw the sheet on the ground. I let out a heavy sigh and hang my head down low.
My eyes shift to the papers again, and I see it.
I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. And to think I almost destroyed something for YOU!
You told me you were busy and then I found out you’ve been going out all weekend. Who is she? Who are you seeing?
You’re destroying something so perfect.
Why are you doing this? You know we belong together!!
If they’re sleeping together, it’s easier for us to be together.
I miss you. When can we do this again?
My stomach tightens as I stare at those words. Chills run through my body. I pick up the paper, rereading the message. My eyes scanning over the familiar number.
My fingers tremble as I reach for more papers. For the earlier text messages.
Leave her for me.
I’m sorry I broke your phone. But that should go to show you how much I want this with you. You breaking it off hurts me more than you know.
We’re meant to be together. We always have been.
Baby, you make me feel so good.
He’s not half the man you are.
We can fuck in your car.
I’m craving you right now.
He’ll be home soon. Hurry!
I freeze as my eyes scan the papers. The words blur as my tears surface. My heart pounds in my chest. A wave of suffocation hits me. The air is thick, making it hard for me to catch a breath.
My throat tightens, and I swallow hard, but it feels like there’s a brick in the way, making it hard to swallow. My body tenses as the reality of it sinks in—he’s been seeing her.
My life is crashing before my eyes. What I believed was love and trust is now crumbling down around me.
A wave of nausea passes through me as I think back to all the signs I missed and trying to piece together when all this happened.
And why?
Why me?
Every shared memory becomes tainted and tangled into lies.
Was I not good enough?
What did I do to deserve this?
The betrayal stings deep, sharper than anything I’ve ever felt. Nervousness shoots through my body. I sit on the back of my legs, bending over, face touching the floor and let out a gut-wrenching scream.
Hours have passed by. I’m sprawled out on top of the papers. My body feels heavy, like I’m sinking into the floor, as if I’ve become one with the floor. I’ve been lying on my back, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe, trying to make sense of everything. My hair clings to my face, wet from my tears. My body is numb. And yet the pain is still there, pulsing through my body as if those two stabbed me a million times and left me here to bleed.
